Friday, December 25, 2009

Batting .500 with Coal In Our Stockings

San Diego at Tennessee-3
The Chargers are pretty much going to get the #2 seed in the AFC, and that’s as good as its going to get for them heading into January. Chargers have one more loss down the stretch, and this is the week it happens.
Titans are 7-1 since Jeff Fisher wore his Peyton Manning jersey, and 5-1 since owner Bud Adams gave the Buffalo Bills fans the double barreled “fuck you”.
If the Titans make the playoffs, after starting the season 0-6, the Lombardi Trophy could be renamed in honor of maybe the greatest NFL head coach in the last 30 years. Titans run wild here.

Oakland at Cleveland –3
Cleveland is hotter than Rebecca Grant right now. Who is Rebecca Grant? ( She’s the girl who appears on your TV right before the start of the 1 o’clock games, plugging Verizon Wireless’ V-Cast. We're not sure what the ‘V’ stands for in this case, but looking at her makes us want to find out.
Browns have covered 5 straight, and over that run are averaging 24 points per. Oakland is making the dreaded West Coast to EST 1pm kickoff trip. Teams in that spot have won outright only 36% of the time since 1992, and more importantly, have only covered 23% of the time. As we’ve said in the past, we couldn’t make that shit up. The newly Holmgren run Browns are the play here.

Baltimore at Pittsburgh-2.5
The Steelers have failed to cover in 6 of their last 7. Their lone cover during that span was against the Ravens. Mike Tomlin has been coaching like he’s been taking hits off of Jim Zorn’s bong. However, this is the second consecutive week at home, in which they’re laying less than a field goal, and we can’t help ourselves.
On this Christmas weekend- big ass, big hair, and big truck nation will be using the Terrible Towel primarily as a dinner napkin, to wipe all the excess cottage cheese and dessert toppings out of their beards and, ummm…. out of their beards. And Big Ben will be using it to wipe Baltimore’s ass. Go Steelers.

Carolina +7 at NYGiants
Carolina just handed Minnesota and Coach Favre their lunch, and the Giants just boat raced Dematha, or some team that resembled high school talent.
Giants have failed to cover 4 of their last 5 at home, and Carolina has covered 4 of their last 5 on the road. Unlike last week, the Giants will line up against a team whose priority list doesn’t start with finding a hotel for Senior Beach Week. We’re still not sold on the Giants being worth a shit, and there is not a chance they cover in this spot. 23-17 Final.

Denver +7 at Philly
Denver has played the NFC East tough (2-1), and they’re in a more desperate state of mind than Philly is. Philly is in the post season already, and Denver has to keep on getting it, in an attempt to hopefully secure a wild card spot.
Hoodie Jr. has done much better than expected in his rookie season, and we like the spunk he has shown at times throughout the season. We hope at the end of the day, his philosophy is to ”try and win a fucking game!!!”
We’re going Denver plus points, Denver/Under parlay, and Denver on the money line. We like the Broncos, and we like them a lot.

Last Week


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