Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Bugel, Boudreau, and Beat Dallas

Cut the cord, Danny. We get it. You and your ex-boyfriend Vinny don’t particularly care for the coach you hired two years ago. We would’ve never guessed, except for the fact that you stripped him of play calling duties not even halfway through the season, you conduct coaching interviews in front of him-at player personnel luncheons, and you’ve interviewed coaches on his staff (to satisfy the Rooney Rule), right underneath his nose.

Big Pussy had better treatment on Tony’s boat, the day Tony, Silvio, and Paulie Walnuts had to “question” him about his relationship with the feds. Sharon Tate was treated better, by the hoard of hippies she let into her house, that fateful night back in the late sixties.

The joke is now on you. Your "hire" humiliated you on national TV Monday night. And he's laughing all the way to the bank. Cashing your checks, stupid.

Just let Horny for Zorny go. We really don’t want to see him make a fool of you again. Your die hard, ticket paying, glutton for punishment fans deserve better. Especially when the most hated team in Washington is on the horizon.

In fact, a nice gesture would be to let Boss Hog Joe Bugel coach the final two games of the season. Let him lead the team that has been so near and dear to his heart. Give him a chance to lead a bunch of men that you employ, in an attempt to save face, and so not to be the butt of the nation, Sportscenter, women’s support groups, 6 year olds, etc.

Tiger Woods and his overactive penis laugh at you.

And as far as the future of this team is concerned, we understand you’ve hired George Allen’s son to help you in your quest for a coach, and to guide you with regard to future team decisions, but could we make one more suggestion?

Hire Bruce Boudreau, coach of the Washington Capitals. Or at least someone like him.

Bruce Boudreau does not mince words. Watch a Caps game, not merely for the fact that it’s the best sports entertainment in D.C., but to see how Boudreau conducts himself in front of his players, and during a game. If his team is playing flat or if he feels the referee has dealt him a bad hand, be prepared for an onslaught of fire and brimstone.

You’re not going to get an “awe, shucks” answer, or my favorite from Zorny, “I don’t need to yell at grown men to get them motivated.” You’re more likely to get the drill sergeant from “Full Metal Jacket”.

Last week while in Edmonton, the Caps were on the tail end of a 4 game roadie, and looking to finish 1-3 on that trip, as they were losing 2-0 to the Oilers at the end of the 2nd period.

According to reports in both local fish wraps, Boudreau slammed the door to the locker room at intermission, and began unleashing an arsenal of expletives, primarily at the team and league’s superstar, Alex Ovechkin. It was reported that he lobbed more “F-bombs” in Ovechkin’s direction, than Eddie Murphy did during his entire, infamous “Delirious” routine. (You remember? Eddie in the red suit? Back when he was relevant. God, that was some funny shit.)

Anyway, a little fire under the ass does work with millionaire athletes. Ovechkin scored a goal 32 seconds into the third period, scored another 6 minutes later, and then added an assist to another, as the Caps scored 4 in the 3rd, and went on to win 4-2.

Currently, the Capitals are the kings of their division, and were the fastest team in NHL history to reach 50 points. How’s your team doing, Danny?

Tim Kawakami of the bay area’s Mercury News proclaimed in February of 2008,, that Jim Zorn was “probably the worst NFL hire of all time”.

Do all Redskin fans a favor, and put the guy out of his misery, already. And then could you beat Dallas?

That should hold all Redskins fans over until next September, when the Groundhog’s Day of mediocrity at Redskin Park, will begin all over again.

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1 comment:

  1. Reading that you compared the Charles Manson murders to a football team? Yeah you have no credibility, hence your a moron.



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