Saturday, January 2, 2010

Heating Up For the Post Season

Pittsburgh at Miami +3
LaMarr Woodley is the latest player/fan/critic of the NFL to come strong to the boards with his vagina at full arousal. Following a week of bitching and whining from most of the English-speaking world- about how football fans everywhere were cheated out of watching possible perfection in Indianapolis, Mr. Woodley has stepped up to the mike with his helmet and a box of tampons.

It seems the Pittsburgh Steeler linebacker is a little concerned that other teams around the league-specifically the Patriots and Bengals, could “lay down” in games that are practically meaningless for them, because they don’t want the Super Bowl champions to make the playoffs.

Heavy flow month, LaMarr? Because we'd like you to cry us a fucking river.

How about taking care of business, when the business is there to be taken care of? You know, kind of what Jim Caldwell and the Colts have done.

How about beating a 5-10 Oakland team at home? How about beating 3-12 Kansas City or 4-11 Cleveland? How about splitting with divisional rival Cincinnati? You can’t win one of those games? We realize the Bengals are a much-improved 10-5 this year, but world-beaters? Twice?

Are we asking too much, LaMarr?

Bottom line for big ass, big hair, and big truck nation (and Mr. Woodley), is that the Steelers suck. 5 game losing streaks in a 16 game season are unrecoverable, besides the fact that they have not been the same since Troy Polamalu went down, and Big Ben started sporting the porn stache.

ATS, we’re not sure “suck” is a strong enough word to describe them. The Steelers have only covered one game in their last 7, and that was in week 12 at Baltimore, when they were getting a whopping 9 points.

Miami, on the other hand, had been strong prior to last week’s disappointing loss to the Texans. They had covered 3 in a row and 4 of their last 5.

At the end of this ass kicking- and that’s what will go down in south Florida this weekend, LaMarr and the black and gold, won’t have to concern themselves with what other teams are doing. Dolphins will win this game going away, and Big Ass Nation can then take all their Terrible Towels, and stick them up their stupid fucking-'crying the blues' asses. Ask us how we really feel.

Philadelphia/Dallas Under 47
We’re playing the under here, even though we do like Dallas' late season play and their virtual slamming the door in the face to all this nonsensical swoon talk. We just have a hard time laying 3 points against a team who has won 6 straight coming in, and who also took care of business big time, in a very similar spot last year.

As far as the total is concerned, look at Dallas’ last 8 games, and throw out the highest and lowest game totals. What you’re left with is a team who is giving up very little, and who is playing in games that are only averaging 31 total points.

In fact, Dallas has only given up more than 20 points once in their last 9 games. And in 3 of those games, they gave up 7 points or less. They’ve gone under in 7 of their last 8, and these two teams only combined for 36 points in their first tussle.

We advise under, and a Dallas/Under parlay or teaser, if your lack of substantially meaningless games this weekend, has you fixing for a little bit more action.

Last Week


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