Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Learning to Be A Better Runway Model

Gilbert Arenas proved one thing with his Washington Post op-ed piece; that his agent has ties to some pretty good PR folks.

We’re not trying to suggest that he wrote the damn thing and then had someone edit it. We’re suggesting that he was lying on a beach in the Caribbean sucking down Mai Tais, when a hotel staffer walked out with a laptop, and simply had Gilbert press the Send key- forwarding the piece directly from his agent to the Post.

Actually, we’re pretty damn sure he hasn’t even read the piece himself!

Does anyone on the planet actually believe that there is that much contrition within him? “The Post suggested on Dec. 31 that I send a message to young fans . . . “ December 31st?! It’s fucking Groundhog Day, dude. As in almost 6 weeks after the act itself!!

We feel like Bill Murray watching Gilbert playfully shoot up his teammates during pre-game warm-ups, over and over again. He couldn’t find an hour in January to sit down and write some sort of heart-felt apology to the fans? Apparently DC Superior Court and David Stern were too much of a nuisance, and cut into Gilbert’s prose time.

Here is what Gilbert and his PR team are hoping to accomplish: Gilbert and his "team" know he has clearly worn out his welcome in D.C. Bad knees and guns don’t mix. And he’s pissed that the Wiz brass didn’t stand by him during this debacle. So he is auditioning for his next suitor, attempting to show humbleness in hopes that there is a chance that another team and another city will pay him the big bucks that he thinks he deserves – warts and all.

Now we’re no saints (or colts for that matter), but we’ve been around the block enough to know that anyone performing a pre-meditated act- whether it be murder, stealing, assault, rape, infidelity, what have you- can’t possibly be as sorry for their actions as they would have you believe. Sure, they feel sorry for themselves because they got busted. But they had plenty of time to think about the repercussions of their actions, before they did the deed.

“Guns and violence are serious problems, not joking matters – a lesson that’s been brought home to me over the past few weeks.”

Seriously, Gilbert?! Do you live in fucking Switzerland in the off-season? It takes suspension and possible jail time for you to realize that guns and violence are serious problems?!

If it looks like bullshit, smells like bullshit, and tastes like bullshit......

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1 comment:

  1. President Barry should pass legislation making it illegal for sports figures to issue these apologies. And by "these apologies" I mean the one that comes way after the fact, via their own website(convenient), and plastered with subtle excuses and rationalizations for their mistake. The apologies that are well written and thought out were clearly written by someone else. Either way, is there any lower form of an apology. Sorry, I'm just not interested anymore.


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