Friday, February 19, 2010

Why It's Closed Doors

First set of questions submitted to Tiger Woods by various media outlets, and why he and his camp eventually decided on a closed door policy:

Tiger, what creates more calluses/blisters on your hands- three hours with Hank Hanne on the driving range hitting balls, or 4 weeks in a sex rehab clinic without any strange?

Tiger, what do you think about the male chauvinistic theory, that somewhere in this world, a guy is sick of banging "that hot chick"?

Tiger, can we smell your fingers?

Tiger, is Jesper Parnevik still on your Facebook page?

Jack Nicklaus is the Golden Bear, and from some accounts, you’re into Golden Showers. Explain to us how special that is for you and your legacy.

Tiger, with regard to the Perkins waitress, did you ever out of habit,try to repair any of the pot marks in that fat broad’s ass, inadvertently mistaking them for ball marks?

Are your kids upset that they won’t be having any step siblings, courtesy of some chick who starred in movies titled “Big Breasted Nurses” and “Milf Worship 4”?

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