Thursday, April 29, 2010

"Price Is Right" Loser Horns

Did we say the Caps would win 7-2? What we meant to say, was for Caps fans to equate Game 7 to a poker tournament, and you were about to be dealt 7-2 offsuit. Felted.

Wow. What a total disappointment. There is nothing to say, other than that. A total, sick to the stomach, disappointment. And unfortunately, the only conclusion, to sum up this debacle, is that the Caps choked. Period.

The Canadians certainly played mind numbing, frustrating to the core defense, but a 1 seed losing to an 8 seed is inexcusable. A 1 seed losing to an 8 seed, in which the 1 seed blows a 3-1 series advantage, is doubly inexcusable. Its actually in the category of "are you fucking kidding me?" inexcusable.

Looking forward, the Caps organization is going to have to realize that their style of President Cup, "6-4" "7-3" regular season type wins, doesn't equate to the playoffs. In fact, it hasn't equated for about 3 straight years now.

NHL playoff hockey is a completely different animal. And when you constantly have defenders getting beat, taking stupid penalties, and concerning themselves more with lighting the lamp, than putting a body on someone, well than you're going to have some issues come post season, Mike Green.

The refs wave off of Ovi's goal to open the 3rd period, was certainly a dagger, and an extremely questionable call, especially in light of the situation. However, the Caps and their fans cannot hang their hats on that argument. The Canadians just beat that Cap ass. They out hustled, out blocked, and ultimately, out scored them.

It sucks, but it is what it is. Disappointment, to the highest degree.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Nobody's Going Anywhere. Except The Caps into the Next Round

The Caps will win tonight. But if they don't, you can rest assured that changes will be a'coming. However, neither George McPhee nor Bruce Boudreau will be fired.

In about 4 years, they have taken the worst team in the NHL, and turned them into a President's Cup winner. Their minor league clubs have won multiple championships the last few years and the Hershey Club broke the record for most wins ever in the regular season this year. They are loaded from top to bottom, and as bad as a first round loss would be, firing one or both of those guys would be a mistake.

Boudreau has won multiple championships while coaching their top level minor league team in Hershey. I know that is a far cry from the NHL, but it means he knows how to win and it also means that he has been coaching nearly the entire core of this team since the organization drafted them. He knows the players and their capabilities better than anyone, and in return they are comfortable with him and his style.

The team has gotten better under him every year. When he took over, they had the worst record in the league at Thanksgiving and he guided them to a miraculous turnaround, making the playoffs on the final regular season game. This series might prove different, but the team has advanced a step further, both in the regular season and the postseason, each year under his guidance.

Exactly what is it that Boudreau has or hasn't done that might have already given the Caps a victory in this series?

They lost in OT in Game 1 with Halak playing great. They then proceeded to outscore Montreal 15-5 from the third period of Game 2 through Game 4. They were extremely flat through the first 20 minutes of Game 5, and if you want to put that on Boudreau, then go ahead. But Monday night, they outshot their opponent by some 30 shots and just simply fell victim to a goaltender that stood on his head and stole a victory. In hockey, that happens from time to time, and it's why you see so many more upsets. Jesus Christ could've been on top of that bench Monday night and it wouldn't have made a difference.

But the Caps are not going to lose. The "due factor" as it pertains to this series, is overwhelmingly in the Caps favor:

*The Caps are a dismal 1 for 30 on the power play in this series. During the regular season, the Caps were batting over 25%, scoring 79 times on 313 opportunities, essentially boat racing the rest of the league. In 4 games against the Habs during the regular season, the Caps were 3 for 17 with the man advantage.

*Alexander Semin. A 40 goal scorer during the regular season, Semin hasn't scored a goal this series, and has just one point through the 6 games. Amazingly enough, Semin is leading the NHL post season in the statistic of shots on goal!

*Getting out to an early lead has been a struggle for the Caps. They've only done it once this series, and that was following a scoreless first period in Game 3. The NHL leaders in points scored, are due to score early, and often.

*The Canadians finished out the regular season losing 8 of 11. They've only scored more than 3 goals 3 times in their last 20 games played. Those type of numbers, against the leagues leading point getters, doesn't bode well for a formula that would include winning 3 straight post season games, after going down 3 games to 1.

I hope that by 10 pm tonight this whole discussion will have been a big waste of time and that I will be diving right into my game film of Philadelphia to prepare for another grueling series. But if the worst case scenarios comes true, and the Caps are sent home packing early, I think some personnel changes would be a much more prudent approach to the offseason than firing the coach and/or GM. If it happens again next year, then by all means pull the trigger.

Keep the faith my people, and remember to rock the red tonight. 7-2 Caps. UNLEASH THE FURY!!!

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Down For Eating

How many drinks would it take Big Ben to consume, in order for him to start yanking out his joystick around this broad? And how fucking big would his bodyguards have to be to allegedly lead her into a dingy, dirty bathroom?

Unless otherwise noted Sportsyackontap does not claim ownership over any images used on this site and will remove content at the request of the orginal copyright holder. Please email us if you would like to submit corrections, credits, or requests for removal of content. © 2010 Sportsyackontap.

Panic, Anger, Bitterness, and Mass Hysteria

Dear Caps Fans,

UH OH! What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again while achieving the same negative results. Is Comcast F'ing with all of us? Is this a replay of last year's first round? Once again the beloved Caps cannot get it done. How many times do we have to see this scenario play out before the slow talking Ted Leonsis and his loser understudy George McPhee figure out what wins in the playoffs?

The Caps have blown a golden opportunity by not closing Montreal out earlier. With another inferior team in the Flyers waiting in round 2, the Caps could be resting up and preparing, instead they have to go 7 with the #8 seed.

Should be an interesting game 7. Caps have proven thus far to be a weak home team (I guess the daunting MCI/Verizon/Jack Kent Cooke/Abe Pollin/FedEx/Giant Phone Booth atmosphere hasn't been terribly affective). Also, maybe they should suit up Judge Patrick (his red hair could add a nice touch to the rock the red theme). Plus, he cannot be any worse than Alexander Semin.

I am hoping for a Montreal victory. That is the only way to get rid of the bandwagon atmosphere that this shitty sports town has picked up the past year and a half. There is one factor that could push me over to the side of the Caps and that would be if they got rid of Joe B., and brought in Steve Buckhantz to call the rest of the playoffs. But unless that happens, I think the Caps could be in a bit-o-trouble, which for sports in this area could be a bit of a DAGGERRRRRRRR!

Angry Billy, the hater

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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Quick Hitters

Donovan McNabb apparently has been pleading with Redskin coaches to sign Terrell Owens. He's also apparently pushed for Rush Limbaugh to be hired as the Skins new quarterbacks coach.

People who don't play golf, watch golf, or understand golf, should probably take the high road with regard to talking the rules of golf, or as we put it in the 'YackShack', just shut the fuck up.

The rule that came into play this past Sunday regarding Brian Davis touching/moving a loose impediment within the confines of a hazard, has been part of the game of golf for over 100 years. For the 24 hour news cycle dimwits to debate this rule, and over dramatize how much it "affected" the outcome of that tournament, was an embarrassment for sports journalism, and an insult to golf and Jim Furyk, the eventual winner.

The ruling had no bearing on the outcome. Furyk two putted for his par, and Davis' 30 foot "par putt" (what he would've been putting for, had he not been assessed the penalty) missed.

The uninformed sports media, who only know and care about golf when Tiger Woods is in the field, are exactly the types of assholes who I don't want playing in the foursome in front of me, when me and my boys are involved in a $50 Nassau, with automatic presses, and $2 trash, double trash on birdies. (to include sandies, whammies, and greenies-but only on the par 3's)

Back to the Skins. They were 4-12 last year. Shanahan and McNabb are worth 3-4 more victories alone. Depending on what moves they make tomorrow night and moving forward, the Yack thinks no worse than 7-9, possibly topping out at 10-6. And if they draft Ashburn and Stone Bridge's own, Ed Wang, to help protect the new QB, they could be looking at 14-2.

Denny Hamlin of Joe Gibbs Racing, won the Samsung 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Monday. His team owner was then spotted running around the winner's circle, most likely laughing that weird, creepy laugh he has, and he was sporting a cowboy hat. This just a month after the former Redskin coach was inducted into the Texas Motorsports Hall of Fame. What a traitor.

Some "12 year old boy" named Lorena Ochoa retired from the LPGA Tour yesterday........Bueller...Bueller.....Caps game......NFL Draft Thursday night.....Bueller...Bueller...(Yo Yack, didn't you just prop golf, and bash the haters a mere 3 paragraphs ago? You're a dick!!...)

Do the employees in both Mike Florio and Adam Schefter's offices walk around all day with umbrellas wide open, to shield themselves from all the shit that falls from the ceiling, that used to be reports and tweets that never came to fruition?

I wonder how the New York football Giants will respond this year, especially now that they officially have the worst quarterback in the NFC East.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

Step Off, Losers. D.C is For Winners

Dear Washingtonians,

Let's all take a moment to not commiserate, and instead rejoice in all the good things sport is giving this town right now.

How about them Nats, baby! 6-6 through 12 games is like Christmas friggin morning! And considering 6 of their first 9 were on the road, and 6 of their first 9 were against the National League defending champion Phillies, .500 at this point is quite respectable.

Hell, if Jason Marquis was a beer vendor at Nats Park, instead of an 0-3 Nats pitcher with a 20.52 ERA, maybe the Nats would be 7-5, or 8-4!

Even yesterday's 11-7 loss to Milwaukee, showed that this team is about fight, and never giving up. "Led" by another stellar outing by Marquis, the Nats gave up 10 runs in the first inning, but then 'won' the rest of the game 7-1.

They lead the NL in stolen bases(14), which is allowing them to keep their opponents on their toes and define themselves as classic run manufacturers. Their pitching is still their Achilles heel, but they have had solid mid to late inning work from both Matt Capps and Tyler Clippard.

The Yack played the Nats over 70.5 games, and we took the Nats +2 games versus the Orioles (total games won. Yeah, fuck you, Angelos!). And if Stephen Strasburg is called up in June, and Adam Dunn and Ian Desmond eventually find their bats, we could be looking at a team that wins 80 games. Seriously.

Secondly, DC Metro, do not sweat the Caps. They will get it done against Montreal, and will continue to set their sights on bigger and better things. Nobody's ass was clenched tighter than Cap fan Saturday night, especially when they went down 4-1 late in the 2nd period. But the Caps roared back, and displayed an energy in the 3rd period that was a reminder to all, of how bad ass they can be.

The Caps outscored the Habs 5-1 in the final 22 minutes played Saturday night, as the Habs showed their true 8th seed colors(3-8 in last 11 regular season games played, and only scoring more than 3 goals twice in their last 16 games played).The Caps were the best team in the regular season, and will win this series in 6 games.

And last, but not least- especially in this town, your Washington Redskins. New regime, new quarterback, and positive attitudes all around. I don't think I've been this excited about an upcoming football season since.....ummm,last year?

Just three days shy of the first prime time NFL Draft, there does seem to be a new attitude at Redskin Park, and we're half chubbed for it. We like the McNabb trade, and we feel the Skins will take care of business in front of McNabb.

In fact, a little bird recently told me that "10 pick" Holmgren (who btw, is converting the Brownies to a 4-3) might be willing to part with one of those 10, in exchange for a certain player with a bad attitude, who requires a stretcher for when he's winded.

Whatever the Skins do on Thursday night and the days that follow really doesn't matter. Its the start of something new, and Redskin fan eats that 'new shit' for breakfast.

So tell that curmudgeon sitting next to you at the bar to turn that frown, upside down. Take a look around. This is DC, and the times are a changing for the better.

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Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Yack is Hot, Big Ben's Belly and Brain, Are Not

The Yack continues to hand out winners!
On the heels of giving out the Saints as a straight up winner in February's Superbowl, not only did we give out a 10/1 winner on Phil Mickelson in this past weekend's Masters, but we also predicted- just days after the story first broke, that Big Ben Roethlisberger would not face sexual assault charges.

Unlike the Lester Munson and EB's of the world, who collectively convicted the Steeler gunslinger just days after the alleged incident, in what had to be some of the most irresponsible radio ever, we advised to allow the dust to settle and the facts to come out, before fitting BB for his orange jumpsuit.

One thing Big Ben is still guilty of, however, is displaying signs of mild retardation, with regard to public image and how he conducts himself.

Sporting a greasy, dirty mullet, a triple chin, and a hand me down pull over he probably purchased at a Breezewood flea market, Big Ben was the epitome of a 'piece of work', as he proclaimed his sorrow and need to be a more responsible citizen.

In what is becoming a sports world epidemic- athletes getting piss poor advice following scandalous activities, couldn't somebody have put Ben in the barber's chair and arranged his Men's Wearhouse appointment, prior to his first public appearance in a month?

I mean, Jesus Christ, Ben! You were the visual equivalent of a dude beating an armed robbery charge, and then showing up the next day in a ski mask, brandishing a firearm. I didn't know if I was looking at a National Football League quarterback, or a guy who was getting ready to take Ned Beatty's virginity!

It was nice to see him clean shaven and sporting a suit and tie, for his meeting with the Commish, but enough already, Rooney Family. Get a hold of your franchise player, knock the stupid son of a bitch around a few times, and get his fat ass in the gym (preferably on a tread mill) and out of da clubs. He obviously lacks the moral and intellectual/common sense abilities, to carry the torch as 'the face of the franchise'. The sooner he's "counseled", the better.

When one of the all time great hillbillies, Terry Bradshaw, calls you out for the idiot that you are, it might be time to check yourself.

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Sunday, April 11, 2010

126 Days Ago

December 6th, 2009, a bunch of the usual suspects sat around in Big Frank's basement and doused ourselves with Miller Lites as we watched the Redskins lose one of the most heart breaking games in recent memory.

Interceptions turned into fumbles for touchdowns the other way, punts hit unsuspecting players in the back, missed 23 yard field goals that would've given the Skins a 10 point lead with under 2 minutes to go. Uhhhhhh, they literally invented new ways to lose that day.

The Redskins had the then undefeated, and future Superbowl Champion Saints on the ropes, dead to rights- fill in whatever cliche you want, the Redskins deserved to win that game that day. And in what had to be some of the strangest sequence of events to ever play into the outcome of one single game, it all slipped away, and the hearts were ripped out of the chests of the Redskin faithful.

So that mere 126 days ago, after yet another debacle by the Burgundy and Gold, what would you have done, if one of your boys had walked up to you in an attempt to console, gave you a friendly pat on the back and then said the following?

"Hey man, no worries. Things will be much better by the next NFL Draft. In fact, Freedom Rocker Jim Zorn will have been replaced by Mike Shanahan. Crazy Eyed Vinny will have been replaced by Bruce Allen. Guys like Randel El and Fred Smoot, gone. Larry Johnson and Willie Parker will be competing for problem child Portis' job. And Fat Albert Haynesworth will be getting shopped around."

And as you walked away from him towards the bathroom, bumping into both sides of the doorway as you prepare to drain the life out of your bladder, your consoler of the miserable and lonely continued:

"And Oh yeah, Donovan McNabb. You know, the same Donovan McNabb who plays for Philly, and who went into Atlanta today, and had a 101 quarterback rating en route to a 34-7 victory...he'll be traded to the Skins next Easter Sunday."

At that point you've realized two things: 1) About 12% of what was intended for the toilet bowl, is sprinkled around and puddled in various areas around the camode, and 2) As fucked up as you are between the alcohol and emotions that overcame you with the latest Redskin loss, your friend who is standing in the bathroom doorway preaching you this pablum, must've dropped some serious acid at halftime.

"One last thing," he says, as you carefully zip up, and release some flatulence that just screams Rosie O'Donnell. "You know that car accident Tiger Woods was involved in last week? Well, you're never going to believe this shit...."

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Monday, April 5, 2010

Chill The F Out

Is Shanahan an upgrade over Zorn? Is McNabb an upgrade over Campbell? Short answers are 'yes and yes'. The lack of enthusiasm today both on radio and on the web, was underwhelming by our count. Let the dust settle, the draft happen, and the rest of the wheeling and dealing play itself out, before you kill the new regime.

Today's Mike Wise Show with Bill, errrr, Holden Kushner, treated the Skins like a punching bag, for what they thought was just the "same old, same old."

Personally, we'll take a 33 year old Donovan McNabb, with his 6 pro bowls and 3rd best record of all active quarterbacks, over an unproven Sam Bradford or Jimmy Clausen any day. And who says the Skins are "punting" all their draft picks?

They still have the 4th pick in the draft, dummies. They'll use that pick to either take Russell Okung, to shore up some of their O-line issues, or they'll trade that pick for more picks, in order to shore up their O-line issues.

Also, we anticipate more dealing to come. Like maybe a Haynesworth, Cooley, or Landry- all names that have been in the trade conversation. Unloading any or all three of those guys, is also going to result in more draft picks.

So don't get your panties in a bunch. The trade for McNabb was a good thing, and since we've been pleased with how things have played out since the regime took over, we'll give the Redskins the benefit of the doubt, as they move forward.

Maybe Mr. Kushner was going for the shock value, since it was his first day of school on his new show. He needs to just chill, and be happy there is something football related to talk about with regard to the Redskins, instead of his new co-host's socially liberal politics, and radio buzz kill, when he gets on a rant about how offensive the team's name is.

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How To Bet $100 on This Year's Masters

Phil Mickelson, $40 at 10/1

We like Phil here because as far as "true odds" are concerned, and our feeling that Tiger has no chance to win this week, "Lefty" is the true favorite. And considering Tiger has been the favorite at every major he's played in for 11 years now, usually as a 2/1 or 9/5 "chalk", getting Phil at 10/1 is like stealing.

Phil's putting has been off this year, but his record at Augusta is almost as sick as Tiger's. During the 10 year stretch from 2000 to 2009 in which Tiger won 3 green jackets and recorded 8 Top 10 finishes, Phil won 2 green jackets and recorded 9 Top 10 finishes.

Phil will be the fan favorite, in light of Tiger's "off season", and will benefit down the stretch if in contention on Sunday. Expect the Phil Mickelson who closed this past weekend's final round in Houston with a back nine 32, that included 6 straight birdies, to be the Phil Mickelson who shows up this week.

Retief Goosen, $25 at 22/1
The Goose has 5 Top 10's in 7 starts this year, and he seems to be back in a zone after a sluggish couple years. Short of winning a green jacket, Goosen's accomplishments at Augusta have been nothing to sneeze at. From '05-'07 at Augusta, Goosen had three straight Top 3 finishes.

Maybe taking a cue from the resurgence of fellow countryman Ernie Els, the two time US Open Champion can be a sick puppy with the putter, and if in contention going into Sunday, will be a tough player to fend off.

Camilo Villegas, $20 at 33/1
"Spiderman" is sporting a shorter crop, and more importantly, an impressive start to the 2010 season. Through 5 starts, Camilo has won once already, and has 3 top ten finishes. He is second in total scoring average, and has made 7 straight cuts in majors, including Top 10's in the '08 US Open and PGA Championship, and a T-13 in last year's Masters. Villegas' putting has always been feast or famine, but if he comes into this week 'rolling the rock', 33/1 is a very good price.

Mike Weir, $15 at 66/1
"Canadian Lefty" is certainly not as sexy of a pick as his American counterpart, but when it comes to sports handicapping, sometimes beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And at 66/1, Weir in this spot is one hot piece of ass.

Weir has only one Top 10 finish in 7 starts this year, but two factors intrigue us: (A)He's currently ranked 1st in total putting- a key to winning at Augusta, and (B) He's won at Augusta before. In fact, Weir has two Top 5 finishes at Augusta over his past 7 starts there.

Who We Wouldn't Lay Cash On

Tiger Woods, 4/1
There is no way he wins after a 5 month layoff that included the train wreck that's become his life. Besides, Tiger's favorite course is not Augusta, nor Pebble Beach for that matter. His favorite course is "intercourse". And assuming he hasn't had much of that lately, a Top 10 finish (at best) would be a successful week for the fallen star. Spend your money elsewhere; like on a grand slam breakfast at your local Perkins.

Ernie Els, 11/1
Ernie has certainly found his game again, winning twice already through 8 starts, but that's part of the reason we don't like him here; the law of averages. For a 40 year old resurgent to win his 3rd tournament in 9 starts, seems a bit out of the realm of possibility. And considering that circumstance, 11/1 is a little too chalky for our wallets.

Geoff Ogilvy, 30/1
The one time US Open winner, and 13th ranked player in the world, has yet to crack the Top 10 at Augusta in 4 starts.

Ian Poulter, 28/1
In 22 starts in Majors, Poulter has just one Top 5, and two Top 10's. And he's never cracked the Top 10 at Augusta. This is from a guy who once claimed, "Once I hit my stride (with regard to golf), it will be just me and Tiger."

*Odds courtesy of Bodog Sportsbook

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Rich Turpin's Very Super Forecast: The 2017 Washington Redskins

By. Rich Turpin Week 1, Philadelphia "Let me fleece Mr. Snyder first, and then I'll see you in 2018!" The Redskins op...