Thursday, September 23, 2010

NFL Week 3: Get The 411, From the 4-1-1

(Dallas +2.5) at Houston
Following their first 0-2 start in 9 years, the mood took a very serious tone down in Dallas this week. Tony Romo cancelled all of his scheduled tee times, turned his hat around (bill forward), and he didn't bang any ditsy blond bitches during the night time hours. On the coaching front, Wade Phillips and Jason Garrett took time off from their off Broadway production of 'Deliverance' (they play the infamous Mountain Men) to spend more time game planning. And word is from the owner's suite, that when Jerry Jones frowned following Sunday's home loss to the Bears, you could actually see his facial muscles contract.

As much as The Sportsyack hates those cocksuckers known as the Dallas Cowboys, we don't think they're as bad as their 0-2 record, and we certainly have a hard time seeing them with an 0-3 record.

Tony Romo has thrown for over 650 yards in two tough losses. In fact, as a whole, Dallas' 790 total yards through two weeks is good enough for the 4th best offense in the league. Houston certainly has been impressive with their ass kicking of Indy, and their come from behind win over the Skins, but one thing the upstart Texans don't have is a good defense.(ranked 31st, only better than Jim Haslett's crazy, fucking, spectacular, 3-4 he has going on down in DC)

Fantasy players who have Tony Romo, start that chippy bastard. Romo throws for over 350 yards and 4 touchdowns, and Dallas wins this game outright.

Cleveland at (Baltimore-10.5)
Besides leading the country in above ground pools, STDs, cars in the front lawn, cousins who marry cousins, inferior complexes about their baseball team, the first smoke stacks you see after you leave the DC Metro, head lice cases, and bed bug cases in 3 and 4 star hotels, Baltimore (the Ravens, not the town) also leads the NFL as the team everyone thinks will represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, even though they've only scored 20 total points through 2 games.

Following a perfect 4-0 ATS and SU to end the '09 campaign (and the Yack getting on over 5.5 wins for '10), the Browns have proceeded to shit the bed to open the 2010 season. A week 1 meltdown down in Tampa, a Jake Delhomme high ankle sprain, and the Browns are scrambling to not let this season get away. (they also apparently were on the phone all week with Philly, trying to deal for Kevin Kolb)

Where are they now, Redskins fans? Jason Campbell got benched in Oakland, and the canoe rider, Jim Zorn, is coaching the 32nd ranked QB in the league. In the last 4 games between these two teams, the Ravens have won all 4 by an average of almost 19 points. Joe Flacco gets Zorn off the schnide this week, as the Ravens will score at least 24 points, while the quarterback-less Browns might not score.

(Tennessee +3) at NYGiants
I played golf Tuesday with a NYGiants "insider". A NYGiants "insider" would be defined as a lifelong NYGiants fan, who pays much more particular attention to that team than the average fan. He told me the Giants have the worst defense he's seen in almost 15 years.

The Titans on the other hand, have one of the best defenses- as in the best (ranked 1st overall). We told you we had taken note to the fact that they gave up the opening kickoff for 6 last week to Pittsburgh, lost the turnover battle 7-1, yet somehow were in a position to tie the game at the end.

We're still in the tank for Jeff Fisher and the Titans. Chris Johnson will not be held to 34 yards rushing. And the Giants will continue the pattern of what will end up being a very mediocre NFC East this year.

Last Week 2-1
YTD 4-1-1

Points spreads found on

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Pic of Tony Romo working on his putting, courtesy of DPugh38 via Flickr

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