Thursday, September 30, 2010

NFL Week 4 Winners: A Dog Day Afternoon

Seattle at (St. Louis +1.5)
Hold the phone, Vegas. The cheater comes to town, wins a couple games that most people didn't feel they'd win, and all of the sudden they're on the road laying points?!?

In St. Louis, Stephen Jackson is banged up, they have a rookie at QB, and they've lost 10 straight to Seattle. So why will they win this game?

The Rams put 30 on the board against the Skins, had a fourth quarter lead before bowing down to Zona in Week 1, and almost went on the road and beat Oakland in Week 2. The Suckhawks are 1-9ATS in their last 10 on the road, and they currently have the 28th ranked defense in the league. Pete Carroll won't be able to turn a blind eye to this ass kicking. 24-13 Rams.

(Baltimore +1) at Pittsburgh
We understand the Steelers philosophical, hard nosed approach to playing the game. Hit people, run the ball, and plug in a guy who doesn't lose the game for you. But we still feel that Mike Tomlin cannot possibly lead the Steelers to a 4-0 start, less Big Ben.

Sometimes degenerate gamblers need to think outside the box, so for this game, here is what we want you to think-> Lets pretend, to take a page out of Botox Jerry Jones' book, that the Steelers were 3-0 (which they are) EXCEPT Big Ben had been playing all along. And lets say at the end of their game last week down in Tampa, Big Ben went down with a groin injury, which for all intents and purposes, is what he has anyway.

Now if we keep pretending-> this groin injury forces Big Ben out of this week's match up against Baltimore. Now the Ravens come in at 2-1, one of the teams in the conversation to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl, and they're getting a point against Pittsburgh, who now has to start Charlie Batch due to Big Ben's injury??

Its a no brainer, right? You're taking the Ravens. And that's exactly what our degenerate minds are thinking. Listen, just like the Lakers in the NBA (on those 7pm, PST starting time games), the Steelers are one of the most bet teams in sports. We love the value of getting the Ravens in a spot here, in which if the above "pretend" scenario had played itself out, there is not a chance in hell they'd be a dog. Chalk this up as a big time value bet: RAVENS.

(Washington +5.5) at Philadelphia
Can I tell you what is the most over used, under thought about prior to being spoken cliche in sports now? "Here in America, we love to give people second chances." Because its not always true.(except of course, with dogs)

Michael Vick, as far as we're concerned, can go fuck himself along with the (probably tortured) horse he rode in on. (And in case LeBron in the third person is reading this, its not because he's black, you douchebag.)

In all seriousness, since we are talking about hard earned, soon to be gambled money, this game isn't about whether the dog lovers here at the Yack would just assume Mike Vick get hit by a bus and die. This game is about the Washington Redskins, and whether or not there is a collective ounce of fucking pride out at Redskin Park.

If Mike Shanahan is worth the paper his contract was printed on, he will have this team ready to play, after that embarrassment in St.Louis. If the other 52 players on this team have a pulse, they'll be more jacked up for this game than former Eagle Donovan McNabb.

This is classic, 4pm kickoff, NFC East divisional football. These two teams have split their last 6 meetings straight up, and the Skins are 7-3-1 ATS in the last 11 meetings. Andy Reid and the Eagles are a pathetic 2-8 ATS, last 10 home divisional games. We'll take our chances on the beaten dog getting almost a touchdown, to get back up off the canvas and give the big "F-You!" to Michael Vick and crew.

College Football Sidenote: Major shout out to our boy "Promotional Tony", a friend of ours who works for Miller Lite as a walking product placement ad. Yeah, the dude likes his MLs. Anyway, dude has give the Yack 4 straight Thursday night college football winners against the number. We'll post next week's game, even though we're sure this plug is most likely the kiss of death.

Last Week 2-1
YTD 6-2-1

point spreads found at

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Picture courtesy of MikQuattro via Flickr

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