Tuesday, October 12, 2010

A Flaccid Weiner and Carnac the Magnificient

Brett, what the fuck are you doing? You (allegedly) sent some chick a picture of your junk, and the picture was less than flattering. Sending her a picture of your pinky finger would've been more impressive.

What were you trying to prove to her? To reiterate the point that us white boys are hung like field mice? Well, good job. Point proven.

To put it in perspective, in the world of athletic junk, Greg Oden's cock doubles as an ankle scratcher, and Favre's pretty much has a clitoris.

Also, what do you think this Jenn girl got out of that sext message? I mean, when a chick gets a pic sent to her, of some dude's limp inch worm, does she immediately run into the nearest bathroom and pleasure herself? I'm guessing not. In fact, my bet is that she forwards the picture to her best friend with the subject line: Look how small this dude's dick is!!! LOL!!!

Seriously, its a shame that on the night Favre throws his 500th touchdown pass, the only thing people can think about is his creepy courting techniques. Favre is an icon, the Joe DiMaggio of football. He's given up his body for the love of the game. In 2003, he played a football game on Monday night football, the day after his dad died unexpectedly. In that game, he threw for 4 touchdowns and 399 yards, and led the Pack to a 41-7 win over Oakland. Then he went to the funeral.

Hopefully for Favre and football fan, Favre was already knee deep in Jenn Sterger's ass when he sent those pics. That's what we think (hope) happened. The scenario; the voice mails took place early on, and the dick pics happened much later down the road, and were sent with consent. And if not, and a laundry list of women come forward with creepy voicemail messages and pictures of what resemble a half frank, well then.....Eldrick?

Carnac the Magnificent has been calling us non stop for almost a year now, in an attempt to get some 'face time' within the blog. So here at the Sportsyack, we finally gave in, and have allowed Carnac to hijack our blog, to do his answer/question bit for your reading pleasure. Fill in Ed McMahon's stupid, hefty, approving laugh for yourselves.

Answer: Mike Shanahan, Felix, and Albert Haynesworth.
Question: Name a rat, a cat, and a fat.

Answer: "Golf, fish, and beat the wife!"
Question: What are the three things former Braves manager Bobby Cox told reporters he'd' be doing in retirement?

Answer: Penis and ratings.
Question: Name two things WNBA players don't get.

Answer: Turning a blind eye.
Question: Whats the official motto for the city of Bristol, CT?

Answer: Numbers and cock.
Question: What does Brett Favre keep stored in his cell phone?

Answer: Jumping from roof tops.
Question: What will executives at Fox sports be doing, if its a Texas/San Francisco World Series?

Our eagerly awaited NFL picks for the week will be released tomorrow. Following our 0-3 ATS debacle last weekend, we realize that the only guys who had a worse week than us, are those miserable bastards who were stuck down in that mine with their buddies playing gin rummy, looking at porn, and telling fart jokes, who now have to go home to their wife and kids. We promise to do better this week.

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