Friday, December 3, 2010

NFL Week 13: Ruff, Ruff

A week that included having to beat off into a Dixie Cup and finding out that our dog might be felted, ended with our own Judge Patrick taking a tumble from a ladder, while performing duties- huh-huh, on a job site. Awesome. I can't wait until next week, when I zip up my balls after taking a leak at my company Christmas Party. Sweeeeeeeet. Let's go!

New Orleans at (Cincy +7)
Why do we like the Bungholes? Marvin Lewis runs a loose ship, we think Carson Palmer sucks and he hasn't been the same since his knee injury, and Ochocinco is old and awful. Not to mention Cincy has dropped 8 straight.

Answer: We hate New Orleans, they've had the Super Bowl hangover all year, they're going to be playing outside of the Dome, and in the elements of cold Cincinnati, Ohio, and they've only covered 1 of their last 8, versus teams with losing records. Consider the money line here as well. Bengals

(Pittsburgh+3) at Baltimore
The Ravens scored in the final minute of play the last time these two teams met, and it was the difference in the Ravens 17-14 victory at Heinz Field. Speaking of difference, these two teams have played 3 straight 3 point games, and 5 of their last 6 meetings have resulted in margins of 4 points or less.

We expect a hard fought AFC North battle, with not a lot of scoring. We're rolling the dice a bit with Big Ben's foot in a boot, and the Steelers playing their 2nd consecutive roadie, but Baltimore doesn't beat Pittsburgh twice in one season. Lock up all your sorority sisters; Big Ben's Little Ben is in the house. 14-13, Steelers.

(Washington+7) at NY Giants
The Redskins might not be that great, but the Giants suck. We've been telling you this all year. Their defense is awful, Eli Manning sucks and is overpaid, and that new stadium is stupid and ugly. Also, Tom Coughlin always looks like he's constipated, and the red color his face gets, is actually one of the colors in Crayola's box of 64.

Expect the Redskins game plan to include a little bit of this, and a little bit of that. What the fuck the this and that are is still a mystery, but its going to work this weekend. 3 of their 5 wins this year are on the road, and they've covered 6 of their last 8 roadies. Shanny will be walking the sideline wondering, "Who moved my cheese?", only to find it by the end of the 4th quarter, in a 19-14 victory. Redskins

(Oakland+13) at San Diego
Yeah, we've heard, the Chargers are great in December. Unlike his face, Norv's record in December is blemish less, dating back like 70 years. But we'll take our chances on an upstart Raider team getting over two touchdowns, against a team they beat earlier this year, when they put up a 35 spot in early October.

The Raiders have lost two in a row. I know this not because I checked the box scores from the last two weeks of NFL games, but because I just ran into Tom Cable's wife at the Ashburn Starbucks, and she had two black eyes and was walking with a limp.

In all seriousness, we love this game. Catching the Chargers laying a huge number, following a huge national TV win at Indy, against a Raiders team who has pretty much gotten their doors blown off two weeks in a row. The NFL is a funny, unpredictable thing, people. Raiders

Last Week 4-2-1

YTD 27-17-2 ATS

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