Friday, June 17, 2011

The US Open Experience

Going to the US Open this weekend? Yack-Yack, Beaver, and Judge Patrick headed down yesterday, and here is what we took away from it.

Parking
We took the shuttle from Dulles Airport, and quite frankly, going into it, we were not looking forward to it. However, it was possibly the most seamless public transportation experience ever. We parked at Dulles at about 5:20 am, went through a security check point, got right on the bus, and we were on the Congo grounds by 6:00 am. When we opted to finally leave (around 4pm), we walked right up to the waiting bus, got right on, and we were back to our car in 45 minutes. Honestly, its the best option this weekend. No wait, its free, and you get dropped off right in front of the gate.

The Course
Wear your best pair of walking shoes- lots of hills and lots of walking. And don't be like the dude who practically dropped dead in front of Patrick on the cart path on #11. (apparently he survived, but it looked dicey at the time). Seriously, your feet, knees and overall body will be sore if you pull an all dayer like we did, so consider yourself warned.

In terms of watching the golf, Congo is not a stadium course, and quite frankly, not the best course to watch golf from. Our advice would be to get their early, pick a spot (like on the side of the #10 green-probably the best spot we hit all day), and absolutely, most definitely, DO NOT try to follow any group Phil Mickelson or Rickie Bieber is playing in; the crowds are just too much.

We watched those guys hit a couple shots, but the hordes of people were just too much. We spent a good part of the day following Stewart Cink, Angel Cabrerra, and Paddy Harrington, and we were able to follow them and see their shots, without being run over by a bunch of part time, asshole, golf fans.

Finally, wear your sunglasses.
Not only because its going to be sunny outside, but because short of being in Las Vegas on a Friday night, we're not sure we've seen more hot women in our lives, and you're going to want to look at "things" without getting busted. In fact, we're pretty sure that on one of his multiple stops to the Don's Jons yesterday, Beaver was actually in there spanking his monkey, he was so geeked up. Seriously, the women rolling around the grounds yesterday were off the charts hot.


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Monday, June 13, 2011

ESPN 980's Chris Russell Likes Pitstops

ESPN 980's Chris Russell seems to be one of the hardest working beat reporters in the DMV, and even before he jumped ship from The Fan to the station where Tony Kornheiser doesn't like fielding questions about Redskins' owner Dan Snyder, we at the Sportsyack have always liked his work.

Like the rest of the free world, Russell likes to take his takes to twitter-usually in a fiery, opinionated manner. Sunday on twitter, Russell took some time away from bitching about his commute from Fredricksburg to Ashburn, and soapboxing about how un-amazing the NBA is, to proclaim his love for pitstops in auto racing. He (@Russellmania980) tweeted the following:

"Watching NASCAR race from earlier, still most amazing feat in sports is how pit crews change 4 tires, get 20 gal./gas & fix car in (less than) 15 secs."

Russell's proclamation floored our own Judge Patrick, who responded to Russell's tweet, which led to the following (humorous) exchange.

Judge Patrick: Will you please retract your tweet from earlier,where you said the most amazing feat in sports are pitstops?

Russellmania: It is a phenomenal thing to watch, u don't agree? Hole in one? Pure luck! What else?

Judge Patrick: Impressive? Yes. Most amazing feat in sports? Not even close, dude. It's gas and tires for christ's sake. You're kidding, right?

Russellmania: Well what is? It is amazing. They do it in 12-15 secs, & they don't just gas/tires. They are making huge changes to car usually.

Judge Patrick: I'll take DiMaggio's hitting streak over tear away wind shields and small wedge adjustments.

Russellmania: I didn't say it was most amazing feat of all time, but in sports today, its hard to beat that precision & production in 15 secs.

Judge Patrick: I've made a list of the most amazing feats in sports, and pitstops is tied with winning a faceoff in hockey.




Follow us on Twitter @sportsyack, @JudgePatrick, @Beav4666

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Judge Patrick is a Soothsayer

Brother to Sportsyack, and longtime Yankee fan Judge Patrick, all but hit the nail on the head with his prophetic commentary on the Yankees this week. http://www.sportsyackontap.com/2011/06/bronx-bummers-party-is-over-yankee-fans.html

The Yankees got their asses kicked for the second straight night to their hated rivals from Boston, and Patrick's stat line on AJ Burnett was pretty fucking scary. Stating that Burnett was, "ALWAYS a risk to give you a 3 inning, 8 run, 6 hit, 4 walk type of night.", the Judge wasn't too far off.

Burnett's stat line from Wednesday night's 11-6 beat down read 5.2 innings pitched, 8runs, 7 hits, and 4 walks.

The Yankees are now in second place, a game behind Boston in the American League East, and they are well on their way to not making this year's post season.

Speaking of hot chicks, check out Judge Patrick and Beaver in Sterling's Park View HS classmate from back in the day, Hilarie Burton. The former MTV VJ/One Tree Hill cast member has a new spread in this month's Esquire.
http://www.esquire.com/women/me-in-my-place/hilarie-burton-pictures-2011#fbIndex1



Follow us on Twitter @sportsyack, @JudgePatrick, @Beav4666

Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Bronx Bummers: The Party is Over, Yankee Fans


Special commentary by Judge Patrick, lifelong Yankees fan

Start singing the blues, Yankee fans. And this is not Frank Sinatra's "New York, New York" either. I'm officially letting all you sons of bitches know right now, that the Yankees will not be making the playoffs this year.

I couldn't care less that they are currently in first place of the AL East- tied with the Boston Red Sox, to whom they're about to be swept by in their series that started Tuesday night. The Yankees are finished, and you all can kiss my ass. I repeat- they will not be making the post season this year.

Anyone who takes the time to look at the makeup of this team- from their pitching, to the their age, to their attitudes, can see that the pinstripers are in trouble this year, and for years to come.

Starting Pitching
Anytime that A.J. Burnett is the #2 in your rotation and Bartolo Colon is anywhere near your rotation- even though BC has arguably been your most consistent starting pitcher to this point, you are in a world of shit.

A.J. Burnett is a gas can waiting to combust. He was actually the one setting all the fires in the early 90's movie Backdraft. Burnett has "ace" type stuff, with a "deuce" type of brain. Burnett is ALWAYS a risk to give you a 3 inning, 8 run, 6 hit, 4 walk type of night. To sum up Burnett- I could not think of any other pitcher in baseball who I would want on the mound LESS in a big spot.

As far as the rest of the rotation is concerned, CC Sabathia is a proven horse who should be counted on. Other than that, the Yankees are trotting out guys on a nightly basis, who they just don't know what they're going to get of them.

A.J. Burnett, Freddy Garcia, (I thought he was dead), Ivan Nova, and Bartolo Colon. Good luck with that motley crew as you move beyond June. Not to mention Joba the Hut. It appears Mr. Chamberlain has eaten away any potential he had. Is it too late for him to get hooked on some of his mother's home cooked meth? Or could he at least mix in a salad and a jog?

And how's that Rafeal Soriano deal working out for you? Say what you want about Cashman, but he was 100% right on not wanting to bring in that bust in waiting.

I'm sure they will make a move or two at the trade deadline to improve the pitching, but as currently constructed, it just simply isn't good enough.


Age
There is one team out there that the Yankees will never beat, regardless of how much money they spend, and that team is Father Time. In fact- as we speak, Father Time has a 7-4 lead over the Yankees heading in to the bottom of the 8th.

We all saw last month, how well Jorge Posada (39 years old) handled his first run in with Father Time. Unfortunately for Yankee fans, he is only the beginning.

Derek Jeter turns 37 in two weeks, and has lost virtually all power. A-Rod will turn 36 in July. Pretty soon Mariano Rivera (42 in November) will show signs of being human, Sabathia's knees will finally cry mercy, and Mark Teixeira's annual slow April start, will turn in to a slow April-May-June-July-August-September start.

Only 2 members of the Yankees typical every day starting lineup are under 30- Robinson Cano (28) and Brett Gardner (27). But at least you don't have a lot of money tied up in these aging stars. Oh wait, you do.

A-Rod is on the books until 2017 at an average of $23.8 mil a season. Have fun with that, cousin Sal. And Jeter is in the 1st year of a 4 year/$56 million deal and seems to have no desire to hand over his responsibilities as shortstop, despite his lack of range at shortstop, and his new found inability to hit extra base knocks. Have fun with that one too.

In Summary

I have two working eyeballs that tell me that every single time that I watch this team, they just don't look very good. Not one member of the starting lineup has a batting average of .300 or higher. Curtis Granderson has been carrying a lot of the load offensively for them, but something tells me that he's not going to maintain his 55 HR, 121 RBI pace. The two main DH options, Posada and Andruw Jones, are hitting .195 and .215 respectively. That is not sweeeeet. (Napoleon Dynamite voice)



As someone who has worn the Yankee hat as a fan, and who's all time favorite baseball player is Derek Jeter, there is some sadness to the Yankees situation. I don't want to see Jeter go out looking like Johnny Unitas in a Chargers uniform. Nobody wants to remember Posada as a guy who took his ball and went home when he was dropped to 9th in the lineup. Everyone likes to see people and teams go out on top. To see a John Elway hop on himself, and then ride off into the sunset while still "on top", is very rare in sports today.

So prepare yourself Yankee fan, for that slow, painful death. You are about to enter a period of time here, that may be very hard for you to watch. You will be saying goodbye to some of your heroes over the next few years-one of them, arguably, the greatest Yankee of all time. You will also be saying goodbye to your annual postseason trips that you've grown accustomed to over the last 15+ years, and the loud, annoying echoes of, "Let's go Yankees!!!"

You had a nice run, but the party is over. Start singing the blues.


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