Thursday, September 29, 2011

NFL Week 4: Tony Romo Invented Oxygen

5-4-1 thru 3 weeks. We got healthy last week with a Bills ATS and moneyline win. Monday night on twitter, we gave out the Redskins/Cowboys under (winner). We have picked every game in a Junkies fan sponsored league we're in, and we're 31-17 ATS thru 3 weeks, good enough for 2nd out of 46 participants. Won't you join me?

Detroit/Dallas (Under 46)
Tony Romo is coming off the game of his life. At least that's what Jaws and Jon Gruden told me, right after they removed Romo's cock out of their collective mouths.

Tony Romo got married over the off season, and reportedly conducted a game of hide-n-seek at his bachelor party. That was the party goers choice, over Romo's other options of spin the bottle and truth or dare.

Detroit has played 3 straight OVERs, Jerr's team has played 2 of 3 OVERs thru three weeks, and the last 3 times these two teams have met, the scoring has gone north of 54. Not today, sports fans! Dallas and Detroit enter this contest with the #5 and #6 ranked defenses. Expect Detroit to keep it close to the vest, in their first real test to determine if "they're for real". This is a 21-17 game. Under.

Minnesota at KC (+1.5)
The Chefs, and no I didn't misspell that, have had a dreadful first few weeks. They're 0-3, and they lost their first two games 41-7 and 48-3. Last week against the best/worst coach to ever coach in the NFL, they hung around, but eventually lost to Norville Turner's Chargers, 20-17.

The people of Minnesota are already fed up with the wristband-less antics of that fat, out of shape DONEovan McNubb. We read at least 3 Minnesota based articles this week, calling for his benching. Don't think too much about this one. The Chiefs are going to roll in what will be the didn't see it coming blow out of the weekend.

SF at Philly(-9/moneyline/survivor league/whatever else the fuck you can bet it)
Michael Vick's pap smear results came back, and from what we can tell, his clitoris is fully in tact. That fucking dog killer/cry baby/now millionaire created some controversy last week with his post game comments about not getting enough roughing the passer calls.

He seemed to be teetering on the edge of saying it was racial when he said, "Those honkie, mother fucking, whitey bitche refs never throw the mother fucking flag when they hit me!!!...Sheeeet, man!!!"

**Disclaimer** We made those Mike Vick quotes up. **Disclaimer**

In other (factual) news, via Mike Florio at Profootballtalk, through 3 weeks of games in the NFL, Jason Campbell has drawn the most roughing the QB calls.....

Listen up. The west coast to east coast 1pm start here is in extra full effect. Those poor bastards from Frisco should send Carlos Rogers to NY to give Roger Goodell a handjob for this scheduling bullshit. (Redskin fans might get that joke)

In the last 7 days, the 49ers flew from Frisco to Cincinnati, Ohio, where they beat the Bengals last Sunday. They then flew back home to California. Now they get to get on a plane, and fly across country again to play the Eagles at 1pm eastern this Sunday. Forget about it, 49er fan. Eagles cover it all.

***It came to our attention after we already wrote this masterpiece, that the 49ers stayed in Youngstown, Ohio all week, and did NOT fly back and forth across country. In any case, they stayed in Youngstown fucking Ohio all week. All handicapping reasons we stated above should still apply. Eagles***

Redskins(-1.5) at St.Louis
Dear degenerate gamblers everywhere (yes, I'm listening), you can thank ESPN and their one-way reporting Monday night, for influencing the masses into thinking this is a field goal or less game.

Redskin fan or not, run down to your nearest book(ie) and bet the mortgage on this one. Shanahan and Sons will exploit the pourus(dead last) rush defense of the Rams, and will win this game going away. Skins defense has improved from 31st to 16th, and is allowing the 5th fewest points in the league. The old Skins would probably lose here. This ain't the old Skins, hater.Redskins.

NY Giants at Arizona(+1)
This is our biggest lock of the weekend!!! Simply put, we don't think the Giants are very good. And even coming off that impressive win in Philly, here is our take:

Tom Coughlin, who we respect and think is a great coach(seriously), got his players all in last Sunday against the Eagles. The Giants were coming off 6 quarters of mediocre football. An awful second half vs. the Redskins, and an as bad as you can play and still win a game game against the Rams. Their game last weekend, going into Philly and smacking that ass, was a "WE GOT TO GET IT DONE, FELLAS!!!" type game.

The Cardinals are coming off back to back tough road losses. 22-21 at Washington, and 13-10 at Seattle. Expect a Cardinals team ready to play, and ready to punch an average at best Giants team right in the face, who will be fresh from their cross country flight.

Yeah, we emphasize travel a bit much, but we use, and we get travel deals!!! Bill Shatner has morphed into a bloated pig. Eli Manning has morphed into a horrible quarterback. 20-10 Cardinals.

Last week 1-1 ATS
YTD 5-4-1 ATS

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack @JudgePatrick

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Mike Wise Bashes Morse and Nats

The Fan and WaPo's Mike Wise took to twitter during his show today, and fired off a couple ignorant tweets that involved the Nats and our only sports mancrush to date, Michael Morse.

In his first ignorant Nats tweet-"As to whether Michael Morse is D.C.'s best athlete now? The answer is no for anyone who takes last day of season off to preserve .302 avg."- not only did he get his facts wrong (Morse is hitting .303), but his assertion that Morse would take a day off to do this is absurd, as its almost an impossibility, even if Morse played tonight.

For Morse to unpreserve his ".300" batting average, Morse would have to go 0-5 tonight. Pretty unlikely. Morse played 23 games in which he had 5 at bats or more, and only in 3 did he go hitless. In fact, in games in which Morse had 5 at bats or more, he hit .371 (43-116).

His second negative tweet towards the Nats, was a message he sent to NBC4's Dan Hellie. After Hellie tweeted: "Would love to see Nats get to 80 wins. It would surpass all realistic expectations and put serious pressure on them to win next season.", the bald Negative Nelly fired back at Hellie, "Take it easy, Vin Scully. Clinched under .500 for the sixth time in seven seasons. (Though yes, hope abounds.)"

Hey Mike, the Nats Vegas win total going into the season was 71.5. I'm pretty sure an 80 win season would be considered successful. Not to mention, the year before they only won 69 games, and the year before that just 59. If you're not going to interject an intelligent baseball opinion, stick to the NBA, and your constant defense of that asshole Gilbert Arenas.

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack @JudgePatrick

Everyone Needs To Chill Out During What is The Most Important Week of Shanahan's Tenure in DC

As I type this, we're 36 hours removed from the Redskins loss in Dallas. Most of the analysis yesterday was on GROSSman's poor performance and the 3rd and 21 play that went for 30 plus 15. There seems to be a sense of "here we go again", and maybe that will come to fruition, but I think everyone needs to just chill out.

We concede that Grossman played like ass. Following a week in which we ranked his performance as average at best against Arizona, Monday night against Dallas, Sexy threw alot of dicey passes that were either floaters or balls that could've been picked- even on some of his completions.

However, even though neither team looked like a world beater, the Redskins should've won the game. They gave up 45 net yards on a 3rd and 21, that started deep inside Dallas territory with the game on the line. And earlier in the game, they botched one of the most simple plays in football; the snap and hold for the kicker.

Unfortunately, that before mentioned 3rd and 21 play masked what has become a pretty good defense. Jim Haslett's crew has improved from 31st to 16th since the end of December, and they're allowing the 5th fewest points in the league.

Here's the deal. This is the most important week of Mike Shanahan's tenure here in Washington. Remember the story Mike Wise told in his column a few weeks ago, about a drunk Dan Snyder firing up Redskin One following a loss to Detroit during the 2009 campaign? This is the week Shanahan earns his money, and this is the week Redskin fans will understand why the vertically challenged owner flew out to Denver that Sunday night.

The Redskins will not come out flat this Sunday. Shanahan will prepare this team like the winner that he is, and he and boy wonder Kyle will put together a game plan that will exploit what is the worst rushing defense in the league. The lowly and banged up Rams, are giving up a ridiculous 175 yards/game on the ground. Expect that game plan to be implemented, which in turn will also rebuild Sexy's confidence, as the Rams linebackers and secondary will be smarting from the Hightower/Helu, one-two punch, giving Rexy an advantage when the Skins do opt to "put it up".

So Redskin fan just needs to relax. After the Redskins win this game, they will be 3-1 going into their bye week- 1-1 in the division, and 3-1 in the Conference. And in the least, will be tied for the division lead.

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack @Judgepatrick

Monday, September 26, 2011

Don't Expect Anything Out of New England Beyond December

We documented it this past week in our Patriots/Bills analysis. We argued it with a drunk Judge Patrick, shortly after the Bills did what we said they would do yesterday. And we're stating it again for the record. New England's defense will burden Tom Brady and crew from doing anything significant beyond December. And by significant, we're stating that they will not be playing in the AFC Championship Game.

Through 3 weeks now, the Patriots have given up a staggering 1,406 yards, which is most in the NFL by almost 130 yards. They're yielding almost 27 points/game, which is good for 6th worst in the league. And although Brady did throw 4 picks yesterday, only one of them occurred on the Patriots side of the field, so don't try to pin all those points on him.

In fact, the reality of how bad the Patriots defense is, can be spelled out by the Bills scoring drives yesterday: 96, 66, 39, 95, and 70 yards. In summary, the Bills weren't exactly playing on a short field, when they came back from 21 down yesterday.

I offered the libation riddled Judge a wager after I made my argument yesterday, and I'd offer the same to anyone who wants to disagree with me. Even money, right now- the Patriots will not be playing in the Conference Championship come January.

Tom Brady is a great Quarterback, and he has some great pieces around him, but defense wins championships, and New England's defense sucks. Last year the Patriots failed to make their Conference Championship, as their defense ended up ranked 25th in the league. All 4 Conference Championship participants from last year had Top 10 defenses.

Tom Brady pic via Nancy Lane, Boston Herald

Follow us on Twitter @sportsyack @JudgePatrick

Friday, September 23, 2011

NFL Week 3: Betting to The Nines

New England at Buffalo(+9)
September 7th, 2003. That's the last time the Bills beat the Patriots. That's 15 straight wins for the Patriots against OJ Simpson's first professional team. To boot, the Pats have covered the number in 10 of those 15 wins. So taking the Bills here is like sticking our necks out in front of some crazed former NFL running back who is wielding a knife, right after he just saw us get a blow job from his ex-wife.

The Bills broke our heart and our bank last week. Even though they pulled out a 4th quarter win against Oakland, they were unable to cover the number. Speaking of numbers, here are the numbers we like about this game.

For starters, a home dog getting this many points(like Carolina last week), is always, in the least, a back door cover from us scribbling a "W" on our betting sheet. But we think the Bills are more competitive than Cam Newton's team. Ryan Fitzpatrick has throw 7 TDs vs just 1 pick, and running back Fred Jackson, through 2 weeks, is leading the league in rushing.

The Patriots are getting additional love right now with the NFL Network's Bill Belichick profile. By our calculation, the line is inflated by 1.5-2 points. The Patriots have played two mediocre teams (we think SD is a .500 team this year), and now they have to go on the road and play a team who is actually showing signs of life.

Through 2 weeks, the Patriots have given up the second most total yards in the entire league. The Bills got lit up last week by Oakland, but we expect their defense to rebound. The dumb money will be on all the drive by, "Belichick is a genius, and I need a game to bet at 1pm" fans. We ain't be no dummy. Bills.

NY Giants at Philadelphia(-9)
This will be the week in which the New York press will go all in with their "Tom Coughlin on the hot seat" talk. The Giants are not a very good team this year, and we expect Michael Vick and crew to treat the G-Men like pitbulls with no more fight in them.

The Giants haven't beaten the Eagles since November 9th, 2008, which ironically, was just two days before "hope and change" was implemented into our society. And like that victorious "hope and change" campaign, the Giants when playing the Eagles, have been a disaster ever since. Six straight wins for the Eagles, and six straight covers over their NFC East rivals.

We've said for years that Eli Manning's $97 million contract extension was a joke. The guy is an average QB who did have one hell of a playoff run 4 years ago, but he's still a "nobody" if David Tyree hadn't caught a pass with his helmet.

Eli's numbers through 2 weeks are nothing to write home about. 491 yards, 2 TDs, 2 INTs, 82.1 passer rating. All told, its good for 24th best QB in the league. And he's been sacked 7 times, 5th most in the NFL.

The Giants looked awful in the second half against the Redskins two weeks ago, and were bore me to sleep average in their Monday night win against a beat up, not very good Rams team this past week. The G-Men have only covered 1 of their last 6 vs the NFC East.

This game will feature plenty of sideline shots of Coughlin with that red, constipated, I have to take the biggest dump of my life look on his face, and Eli- slumped shoulders and all, walking off the field looking like a whiny bitch. The Eagles will win this game by no less than 2 touchdowns, and the Giants will continue their march to 7-9.

Last Week 3-1-1 ATS
YTD 4-3-1 ATS

Ryan Fitzpatrick's Bevis haircut courtesy of Hair Cuttery

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Kitna Will Be No Walk In The Park

Don't kid yourselves, Redskins (and Cowboys) fans. Tony Romo will not be playing Monday night. And although Jon Kitna did throw two picks in relief for Romo on Sunday against the 49ers, he is quite the capable quarterback, and last year's statistics prove that.

In 8 games last year as Dallas' starter, Kitna had a respectable 88.9 quarterback rating, completing almost 66% of his passes for 2,365 yards, 16 TDs to 12 INTs, leading Dallas to a 5-3 record as their starter.

In his week 15 matchup against the Redskins last year, Kitna led Dallas to a 33-30 win, with a statline that read 25/37, 305 yards, 2 TDs, 0 INTs, and a 110.8 passer rating.

Our favorite parts of the following clip, besides of course, Art Monk and crew taking a big fat shit on Dallas' home turf: (1) Joey T's "perfect" spiral, (2)Joe Gibbs' bright yellow, "the light is getting ready to turn red", sweater, and (3)Last but not least, the old school, CBS graphics at the end of the clip, displaying the score.

DC Area Cowboys Fans Have Self Esteem Issues

We have often heard The Fan's Chad Dukes ranting about the number of DC area fans who are not fans of the local teams, but who are fans of teams outside the DC Metro area, even though those fans have no birth or familial ties to that specific area of the country. We agree with Dukes' point on this, so we decided to research the subject ourselves-errrr, google articles and studies already conducted on this topic.

Most of the articles we found regarding this issue, specifically talked about the psychology behind how and why we root for sports teams. And in the case of the numbers of DC area Cowboys fans, the common denominator for these losers-errr, people, was their need of a self esteem boost and wanting to fit in.

The Cowboys were at the root of many of the studies conducted. The studies showed that many fans, regardless of where they lived or were from (geographically), opted to root for the Boys from Dallas because of their "America's Team" designation, and their winning history.

Psychologists add that some fans find a sense of belonging and acceptance in sports, and would rather be associated with a "winner", even if thats just the perception, as in (what has become a cliche), "America's Team". The studies also showed that many Cowboys fans tend to be "front runners" in other sports as well, to continue to stroke their deflated egos and psyche.

Robert Cialdini, a professor of psychology at Arizona State, conducted one of the most respected studies as it pertains to sports and who fans root for.

"It becomes possible (for these people) to attain some sort of respect and regard not by one's own achievements, but by one's connection to individuals of attainment," he said.

*Quotes from New York Times*

Thursday, September 15, 2011

NFL Week 2: Load Up on Guns, Bring Your Friends

Next week marks the 20th anniversary of the release of Nirvana's "Nevermind" album. The staple of the "grunge movement", the album shed light on the music of the Pacific Northwest, along with the unwashed, stinky, tattered clothes the drug addicted musicians who performed it, donned on a daily basis.

While other bands from that era (in our opinion)were more talented (STP, Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains), there is no question that Kurt Cobain looking at the camera from behind his blonde locks in the "Smells Like Teen Spirit" video, was as iconic as John Beck's 2011 pre-season statistics.

Arizona at Washington (-3.5) and (Under 44.5)
As time proved, the best thing to come out of Nirvana was Dave Grohl, not Cobain. Time may also prove that Uncle Rico (Beck)is the man in DC, but for now its Sexy Rexy. (And by no means, Rex, are we suggesting you go out and marry some no talent whore drug addict, who you then write her band's entire album for, and then supposedly blow your own brains out...)

Lots of reasons why we don't like the Cardinals here. For starters- the west coast to east coast factor. Since 1992, teams who make that trip and then have to play at 1pm eastern, win straight up just 18% of the time. And they only cover the number about 30 percent. Secondly, the Cardinals gave up almost 500 yards last week to a rookie led (bad) Panthers team. The Cardinals also had to rely on a punt return for a TD, and still had a sweat at the end.

Ken Whisenhunt is a dreadful 2-9 ATS in his last 11 roadies. The Cardinals haven't won in DC since 1998, and we don't expect them to change that here. The Redskins defense was stellar in the second half, keeping the Giants scoreless and allowing just 102 total yards. We expect them to keep Kolb in check, as they did last year when they beat him in Philly.

A big day from Tim Hightower, which will result in the "clock being our friend", UNDER bettors. And Graham Gano will ease the Redskin faithful's anxiety, keeping their nerves on a plain. 26-13 Redskins.

Oakland at Buffalo (-3)
If you think we're going to stay away from yet another situation where a west coast team has to fly across country to play an early game, well then you're wrong, because we're not. We our some trend chasing sum bitches, and the NFL trending tree on this particular trend is in bloom from September through December.

Besides the fact that last week, Bills QB Ryan Fitzpatrick finished with a 133 QB rating and the Bills collectively ran for 163 yards at KC, this sneaky little, sexy little game is on absolutely nobody's radar except ours, and we LOVE the Bills here!

In the last two years, Oakland has made the cross country trip 5 times to play early kickoffs. They're 1-4 SU, and 1-4 ATS, and in those trips they were outscored on average, 33-14. Last week, Oakland was the beneficiary of 3 Denver turnovers. They did have 190 yards on the ground, but Jason Campbell's 13 completions for 105 yards isn't scaring the Bills defense, who allowed just 213 total yards last week.

This will be the last week you will get the Bills, who are a team we think has a lot of upside, at a price that in hindsight will be like stealing. Bills roll, thank us later.

Green Bay at Carolina (+9.5)
We like the Packers and we like Aaron Rodgers, certainly more than President of the Tony Romo Fan Club, Colin Cowherd does. But we don't love them, and Cheeseheads everywhere need to put their pants back on, and leave the lotion in the medicine cabinet.

The Pack was 10-6 last year, not shabby, but not world beaters either. Their playoff run on the road was certainly impressive. However, during the regular season they were just 3-5 on the road, and in those 8 road games, they would've only covered 9.5 once-in a week 11 blowout of Minnesota, a week after the Pack's bye.

There is something in the way that Cam Newton played last week, a combination of poise and confidence in his first NFL game, that we certainly liked. Expect Carolina and their fans to rally around their rook, following his record setting debut performance. And don't sleep on the Packers having given up almost 500 yards to New Orleans last week. Yes, that was Drew Brees and the Saints, but giving up 500 yards, is still giving up 500 yards.

Take the Panthers and the points. Hopefully by the time you talk to your man, the Vegas dummies have bet this game up to 10. Not that we're building in an excuse here, but at 10 we're getting excited all over ourselves, and we'll be the ones who will have to put our pants back on. Panthers.

Houston(-3) at Miami
There might not be a bigger dumpster fire in the league right now then the Miami Dolphins. The Dolphins front office has tried to knock off Tony Sparano, more than when that horrible season of dream sequences tried to knock off Tony Soprano.

The Texans are entering this season with higher expectations, and last week's ass thumping they gave the Colts should just further fuel that talk. They beat the Manning-less Colts, despite losing the turnover battle, and a less than terrific performance from Matt Schaub. Kerry Collins gift wrapped the Texans first two scores with fumbles deep inside the Colts side of the field, and that was all she wrote.

The Texans will be less rusty this week. And the return of Arian Foster will certainly help. The Dolphins, on the otherhand, have nothing to build off. They gave up 622 total yards to New England, and were blown out at home on Monday night.

Speaking of being blown out at home, and just sucking overall, the Dolphins have now NOT covered 8 straight home games in September. Overall, they're 3-12-2 ATS in their last 17 games in September. And there is a reason Tony Sparano is about to be swimming with the fishes (or dolphins), as he appears to be horrible at making adjustments following losses. The Dolphins are 1-5 ATS the week after allowing 350 total yards or more.

Take all your 1pm winnings, and load up here on the Texans. And if you're really jonesing, there are a couple of trends that point to over as well.

Last Week 1-2 ATS

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack, @judgepatrick, @beav4666

A free bucket of range balls to those who can name all the Nirvana "Nevermind" references we dropped in this post.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

NFL Week 1: We Wonder Who Bin Fuck Face Took In His Fantasy Draft This Year

Last year we were a blistering 11 games over .500 against the number. The information provided in this blog shouldn't be free. But in the spirit of the greatest country on the planet, and the fact that almost 10 years after 9/11, our Navy Seals put Bin Laden's brain matter all over the back of that 19 inch rabbit eared black and white television that the cocksucker used to watch porn on, these picks are on us, America.

Atlanta(-2.5) at Chicago
The Falcons are ready to take the next step this year. Still reeling from the ass thumping they took at home in last year's playoffs courtesy of the Packers, expect Matty Ice and crew to come out firing on all cylinders.

We expect big things from the Dirty Birds this year. Having added Julio Jones to an offense that includes Roddy White, Tony Gonzalez, and Michael Turner, don't be surprised to see Sundays in Atlanta this fall to replicate Sundays in St.Louis, circa the turn of the century.

Jay Cutler is back for the Bears, less Kristin Cavallari. Our friends at TMZ tell us that Cutler, according to Cavallari, was simply too controlling. And she also couldn't stand the fact that they were both on the same menstrual cycle.

The Bears are odd men out this year in the NFC North. Besides the fact that their QB is a quitter, their offensive line is still extremely porous, and we're not shaking in our shoes with the addition of Roy Williams. The Bears will finish last in their division, and will get boat raced in Week 1.

**Key Trend** The Falcons have covered 5 straight games as a road favorite.

Indy(+9) at Texans
Don't get caught up in the hype of Peyton Manning's first missed start since the Clinton Administration, literally. And we're not ready to anoint the Texans as the new kings of the AFC South.

For starters, we have a hard time laying almost double digits against a team the Texans have only beat once in their last 9 tries. Secondly, Kerry Collins might like to have the occasional cocktail and fire off racial slurs at teammates, but the guy is no slouch and he's quite capable.

In 17 seasons now in the NFL, Collins has passed for over 40,000 yards (11th all time), and has thrown 206 TDs vs 195 INTs. Last year in 10 games with a dysfunctional Tennessee Titans team, he threw for over 1,800 yard, 14 TDs, 8 INTs. Lastly, the Colts still have one of the best O-Lines in football, having allowed Peyton to be sacked just 16 times last year, which was the lowest allowed in the league, tied with the NY Giants.

Expect the Colts to step up and rally around Collins. Also, don't sleep on the fact that the Texans defensively last year, were only better than Denver and the Redskins. Arian Foster is most likely not playing, or in the least is not 100%, and the Texans will choke under the weight of mightier expectations this year. Load up on the spread, and consider a money line bet as well.

NY Giants at Washington(+3)
The Giants have had the Redskins number for awhile now, winning 9 of the last 10 games between the two teams. However, the Redskins are catching a break drawing this team in Week 1 this year, as the Giants come into town on a MASH unit helicopter. (see injury report, people born after 1982)

Change is finally in the air in DC, and it has nothing to do with that guy who will have a "For Sale" sign in his yard next November. We're talking about that other rat-the one who resides at Redskin Park.

According to the research done by The Washington Times Dan Daly, the Redskins projected starting roster is almost 3 years younger than last year. Last year's starting lineup, on average, was 30.7 years old. This year's projected starters are 27.8 years of age. A younger QB, a younger RB in Tim Hightower, and the most draft picks in 16 years- all part of the Shanahan Stamp.

As noted, the Giants are beat up and ripe for the picking here. Don't expect the Redskins defense to resemble last year's 31st rank debacle, that featured some fat guy who just laid on the ground while the play was still going on. And we're not jumping off bridges, just because Rex Grossman is the starter.

Last year Sexy Rexy started the final 3 games of the season, and during that span the Redskins went 3-0 against the number. In fact, his numbers (vs. the Cowboys, Jags, and Giants) were pretty damn good. Over those 3 games, he threw for 840 yards, 7 TDs vs. 4 INTs. Against Dallas and the Giants, Grossman posted a 93.4 and 88.8 passer rating, respectively.

Mike Shanahan has an impressive 12-4 (75%) opening day record, and he has NEVER lost an opening game versus a divisional opponent (5-0). Redskins will get up early, and then plant their foot on the Giants collective throats.

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack and @JudgePatrick

Friday, September 2, 2011

In Defense of Joe Theismann. Sort of.

Nobody is going to argue the point that Joe Theismann enjoys the sound of his own voice. So it came as no surprise when he was in the cross hairs of many on twitter, and various blogs this morning, after his analysis of Brandon Banks touchdown that almost wasn't.

Banks' 95 yard punt return went to booth review, after it appeared he might've lost the ball before crossing the goal line, in an attempt to begin his touchdown celebration.

Joey T's analysis was pretty interesting. It started with him describing Banks as "electric", mixed in with a limerick that Theismann seemed to ad lib- "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Make sure you got the ball in your hands, or else you won't get a TD."-and it ended with him referring to Banks as "stupid".

However, I think Theismann's point shouldn't be so quickly dismissed and piled on to, by the bloggers and 140 characters or less tweeters.

Doe, aka Brandon, is or at least was going into last night's game, on the bubble to even make the Redskins 53 man roster. He's battling a knee injury, battling a strong corp of WR options in the Redskins camp, and he's also trying to separate himself from the off field incident earlier this year, that almost took Banks' friend's life, and left Banks in the hospital for over a week.

Which, ironically enough, involved Banks and his friend getting slashed outside a DC nightclub. Ironic because it (slashing of his neck) too was part of Banks' celebration, which Theismann and TV partner Kenny Albert seemed to ignore or not notice.

In any case, Theismann does like to hear himself talk, and his analysis of this play was more back and forth then a lunch date conversation with Sybil. But I don't think Banks should get a pass from all his fan boys. (see: SB Nation and Mr. Irrelevant, Chris Mottram)

He certainly didn't get a pass from Special Teams coach Danny Smith, who by our count dropped no less than 5 "F-bombs" when discussing the play with Banks during the booth review.

Excessive celebration, in general, is stupid by any player. Not to mention it can cost your team 15 yards. Do you and your teammates a favor, and act like you've been there before. Or take a page out of John Riggins and Art Monk's book, flip the ball to the referee, and then head back to the sideline to celebrate with your TEAM.

Follow us on twitter @sportsyack and @JudgePatrick

Rich Turpin's Very Super Forecast: The 2017 Washington Redskins

By. Rich Turpin Week 1, Philadelphia "Let me fleece Mr. Snyder first, and then I'll see you in 2018!" The Redskins op...