Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Not Rich Turpin Predictions, on The Washington Redskins 2012 Season

Because every other talking head on radio, print and in cyberspace is going to run through every god damn game,  five months before toe meets leather, and "tell" you how its going to play out. We even predict the point spreads. #Degens Here we go:

Week 1: @ New Orleans (1pm)...(Saints-9.5)
The Saints will be a 9.5 point favorite by kickoff, and will probably take out all of the frustration from the off season reaming Roger Goodell gave them for the bounty program, on the Redskins and their rookie QB. Saints win and cover, 31-17.

Week 2: @ St. Louis (4pm)...(Redskins-2)
The game will be under a field goal point spread, and if the Redskins don't score the first touchdown, they will lose in this tricky spot, starting off the 2012 campaign in an 0-2 hole. Rams win, 24-19.

Week 3: Cincy (home opener, 1pm)...(Bengals -3.5)
RG3 gets his first 'W' as a pro, and throws for two touchdowns, and runs for another. The Skins defense will remind Andy Dalton of the expression Sophomore Slump. Redskins win, 27-10.

Week 4: @Tampa Bay (4pm)...(Redskins-2)
The Redskins control the clock with their ground game, against the worst run defense during the 2011 campaign. Can you say .500? Redskins win, 19-9.

Week 5: Atlanta (1pm)...(Falcons-4.5)
This game is going to be ugly. Rookie mistakes by RG3, and the Falcons propel to 4-1 en route to their NFC title. Falcons win, 31-16, well on their way to the NFC South Division title.

Week 6: Minnesota (4pm)...(Redskins-3)
Minnesota is going to suck this season, and the Redskins with their rookie QB and young running game are going to look like the second coming of the 1989 San Francisco 49ers in this game. Redskins win, 38-9.

Week 7: @ NY Giants (1pm)...(Giants-4.5)
Giants have the toughest schedule (again- i think), and will be smarting from that and the post-Super Bowl let down. And the Redskins have played the G-men tough, as of late. The DMV and donks like Rich Turpin will be in nirvana, when the Redskins prevail here, and post a 4-3 record through 7 games. Redskins win 17-13.

Week 8: @ Pittsburgh (1pm)...(Steelers-6)
RG3 will have a rough one in Terrible Towel waving, inbred Pittsburgh Steeler country. Seriously, I don't see a rookie QB going up to Heinz Field here and winning. Lay the points, take the Steelers. Steelers win, 24-7.
Week 9: Carolinia (1pm)...(Pick'm)
Heisman versus Heisman, crooked Cam and all the allegations that hung around him, versus straight and narrow, military raised Robert Griffin the Third. Cam might've made a few bucks prior to going pro, but we won't hold that against him here. Panthers win, 24-23.
Week 10: BYE
Week 11: Philadelphia (1pm)...(Eagles-2)
RG3, in one of his best performances of the year, leads the Redskins to a nice divisional win against the Eagles, breaking Philly's Fed Ex hold on them, having won 3 straight coming in. Redskins win, 23-17.
Week 12: @Dallas (4pm, Thanksgiving Day)...(Cowboys-4)
The Cowboys went out and addressed their biggest needs in the off season, signing the best free agent corner Brandon Carr, and drafting the best corner in the draft, Morris Claiborne. Dallas lays the wood, as they hit the homestretch of their NFC East Divisional title run. 27-14 Dallas.
Week 13: NY Giants (8:30pm, MNF)...(Redskins-2.5)
Rich Turpin will be on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge following the Skins second consecutive divisional loss, as it becomes more clear that we're looking at another sub .500/non-playoff season. Eli Manning and the G-Men are never down and out, and they will get redemption for their loss earlier in the season. Giants win, 24-14.
Week 14: Baltimore (1pm)...(Ravens-3)
Raven Nation will still be bent out of shape by the fact that the Orioles finished 26 games under .500, and the Nationals won the NL East, en route to....(not jinxing them). The Ravens will be well into a strong playoff push. Redskins play tough, but a late INT by Ed Reed seals the deal. Ravens win, 20-13.
Week 15: @Cleveland (1pm)...(Redskins-1)
Who is the Cleveland coach? Who is the Cleveland QB? The Redskins pull one out, at the mistake by the lake, at a game yours truly will be at. Redskins win a ugly, ugly, ugly ball game,  13-10.
Week 16: @Philadelphia (1pm)...(Eagles-4)
The Redskins will succumb to the back-to-back roadies trend, and their performance on field will reflect the lack of home cooking. This is where all hopes for a rookie leading them to the promise land come to a screeching halt. Eagles win, 26-14.
Week 17: Dallas (1pm)...(Cowboys-4.5)
The Cowboys and their dipshit fans who will be (most likely) occupying 37% of Fed Ex Field, will go away happy in this season finale which will probably only have playoff positioning on the line for Dallas, and draft pick position for the Skins. Cowboys win, 21-20.
Redskins finish 6-10, last in the NFC East. Dallas wins the division at 11-5. Mike Shanahan is fired the second week of January, and Snyder hires Raheem Morris as the Skins next HC. Raheem Morris will then hire the recently fired Norv Turner to be the OC.... Good times!!!!!

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