Thursday, September 27, 2012

Week 4 NFL Football: Lets All Welcome Back the Regular Fuck Ups

In honor of the Ryder Cup this weekend, the NFL
is letting Jose Maria Olazabal Referee tonight's game.
Cleveland (+12) at Baltimore
The NFL cares about their players. Actually, they don't. But bringing back the regular Refs, coupled with Roger Goodell's awkward April handshakes/hugs with newly drafted players on draft night, certainly make it seem like the do, so let's just go with it.

Seriously, is there anything more awkward than some 50 something year old whitey/ginger, trying to be cool and do the hand shake/hug with some 22 year old brother. who would just assume kick his hypercritical white ass? No, there isn't. Which brings me to NFL's Week 4 Thursday night snooze fest.

Thursday night football in September is for Georgia Tech/ Virginia Tech, not the Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens. I just can't get into Thursday night NFL football when its still in the 80's, and I'm sipping cocktails poolside in the OBX. But since the NFL cares, I guess I'll care, so let's get onto the all important matter of pounding our man.

The Browns have been in every game they've played-errrrr, lost this year. They should've beat the overrated Eagles (playoffs last year), hung around with a very offensive minded Cincinnati Bengals (playoffs last year), and hung with, but then gave way to the Buffalo Bills (playoffs this year- you heard it here first). Secondly, the Brownies don't just lay down and die in divisional tilts, nor in the role as road dog. They're 3-0-1 ATS in their last 4 versus the AFC North, and they're 4-0-1 ATS in their last 5 on the road.

The Black Crowes might not be Hard to Handle, but they are certainly a tough team to figure. They looked impressive in week 1, with a dismantling of the before mentioned Bengals, then somehow lost a game to the before mentioned overrated Eagles that they should've won, and then just Sunday night (as in 4 nights ago), won a last second thriller against Conference foe New England.

Insert: let down, trap game, whatever you want to call it- just pick your poison, B-more.

That alleged killer Ray Lewis might be good at screaming like a crazy mother fucker at his teammates prior to the start of games (and you can set an egg timer until Bristol's cameras pan in on him doing so tonight), but him and Ed Reed are another year older, and Baltimore's once scary defense is now yielding over 400 yards and 22+ points per game. Trent Richardson runs well enough to allow Brandon Weeden to feel comfortable enough to complete some meaningful passes. Browns stick around, but lose 22-13.

Last Week      1-3        ATS
YTD               6-4-1      ATS
Since 2010     81-45-8  ATS (64%)

Happy 21st birthday, Nevermind!

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