Saturday, October 26, 2013

NFL Week 8: Like The Rest of The Overly Sensitive Pussies in This Country, I'm Offended....By My ATS Record

Tom's play on the field this year; not
nearly as pretty as his face.
Miami at New England (-6.5)
Between illegal video tapings and trying to break rules that were just implemented 3 months ago, Bill Belichick and the Patriots are running out of their "competitive advantages". Its time to just sack up ( and Tom Brady, that includes you and your 55% completion rate, and 75.3% QB rating), and beat somebody's ass. You're up, Dolphin fan.

I called out Miami as a fraud 3 weeks ago, after they ran out to a 3-0 record, and I told my readers to pound New Orleans in Week 4, when the Dolphins visited N'Orleans on Monday Night Football. That was a week after they squeaked out a last second win at home against a very average Atlanta team. And since that Monday night beat down, its been nothing but Ls.

The Patriots are 10-2 SU vs. Miami since 2006. They won last year's match-ups 28-0 and 23-16. Brady should improve his stat line against the 25th ranked pass D in the league. I'm pulling a Martingale System here (they're due, baby!!), as New England is a brutal 0-5 ATS in their last 5 vs. the AFC. Don't be scurrrred, bettor man. 27-19 Patriots.

Dallas at Detroit (-3.5)
Counting that moral victory Dallas had against Peyton Manning and the Broncos, Dallas is riding a 3 game winning streak. Coincidentally, Jerry Jones once famously told the first post WW II generation in Japan that "three eyes, one ear, and glow in the dark fingers are better than nothing...."

One of my favorite spots occurs in this game. A team coming off a road win who is on the road again (Dallas), at a team who is coming off a home loss (Detroit), whose at home again. The team in Detroit's spot has covered in this situation 73% (55-20) of the time since 2002.

Detroit wins this game in a shootout (Over is 4-0 in these two teams' last 4 match-ups). Matthew Stafford throws for no less than 400 yards and 4 touchdowns. Dallas is 0-4 ATS in their last 4 games, following a game in which they allowed 15 points or less (17-3 winners at Philly last week). 38-31 Lions.

The Steelers must contend with the Black Hole
Pittsburgh at Oakland (+2.5)
Just when Big Hair, Big Ass, Big Truck Nation starts gaining some "Mo", they travel to Oakland for a game at that shit hole stadium, in that shit hole city (I can say that, as I've been there for a baseball game. I would rather be gang banged by Martellus Bennett and Greg Oden, then have to go back to that dumpster fire).

Oakland- and more importantly, the once hurt Terrelle Pryor- is well rested coming off his bye. And up until last year, the Rai-duzz were an absolute disaster following their bye (0-9 ATS since 2003). But second year coach Dennis Allen ended that streak and started a winning streak of his own last year, with his ATS win at a very good (last year) Atlanta team following their bye week, and I'm riding that streak this Sunday.

Listen up. I don't think Oakland is awful, and I think you just need to break down their last three games to catch my drift. Home loss vs. Washington, in which they had a guy at QB who is no longer in the league and Darren McFadden, who was knocked out in the first half. Home win against what's looking like a pretty good Chargers team, and then prior to the bye, a loss at undefeated Chiefs, which was expected.

I just don't think the Steelers are very good this year, and if you're offering me points at home, versus a team who is flying across country to lay them, then let me know where I can sign up. In fact, tell your man to pound the vig straight up his fat ass, and play the Rai-duzz on the money line. Ruff-Ruff, 24-17 Oakland.

NY Jets (+6.5) at Cincinnati
I've yet to give out two barking dogs in one week this year. And not only am I going to give you two adorable, cuddly canines this glorious week, I'm going to advise you to bet both of them on the money line as SU, big fat, hairy winners.

The Bungholes are on a nice three game run right now. An ugly, rainy home win against New England, followed by two last second road wins against Buffalo and Detroit. I'm betting on them not to maintain that pace this weekend against a young, inspired, nothing to lose NY Jets team, whose defense is nothing to sneeze at (4th in total yards allowed/game). Not to mention, the Bungholes- though riding that three game heater, have been torched over the past couple weeks defensively. Their secondary has given up 573 yards and 5 TDs over the last two weeks, including 322 total yards against the Thad Lewis led Bills.

Three game heater aside, the Bungholes still don't impress me, as the rest of their 2013 resume includes losses to Chicago and Cleveland (average teams), a struggle against bad Pittsburgh, and a miracle win at home vs Green Bay. Not world beater material by any stretch, and I think this line is a HUGE overlay. Jets win outright, in a low scoring affair. The Bungholes last 10 games vs the AFC are 9-1 Under. Ruff- Ruff, 19-17 Jets.

Atlanta at Arizona (-2.5)
The only other disaster worse than Obama-care and the pre-Case Keenum led Texans, is the shit show that is taking place in Hotlanta this year. Not only are the perennial underachievers underachieving, but they're banged up too. And as they make just their 3rd trip outside of the Georgia Dome this year, you should expect their road incompetence (0-2 ATS, 0-2 SU) to continue this week in the desert.

The Red Birds are on extra days rest, having played their last game two Thursdays ago when they got worked by a very good Seahawks team. But they did prevail in their only other home games against better than average Carolina and Detroit. And I like what Bruce Arians and crew has done following losses; Zona is 5-1 ATS in their last 6,  following an ATS loss. 

65% of the betting public is on the Falcons this week, which is something you should always avoid. Also, try to avoid teams (the Falcons, in this case) who are just 1-5 ATS in their last 6 roadies. Mike Smith should have his agent make sure all the 'T's are crossed and the 'I's dotted on his resume, because that white haired bastard will not be roaming the Dirty Birds' sideline this time next year. 27-21 Cardinals.

Last Week                                               2-3 ATS
Barking Dogs Year To Date                  5-2 ATS
Overall Year To Date                        16-19 ATS (46%)

Follow along as "Yack" pursues excellence in the Las Vegas Hilton Super Contest. @Sportsyack on twitter. *Lines as of Thursday morning, LVH Sports Book*

Ok, can someone tell me what in the FUCK is going on here? And how come I keep watching this over, and over, and over again?

Sunday, October 20, 2013

NFL Week 7: "This One Time At Band Camp, My Game of The Year Lost By Like 21 Points..."

Hello. I'm coming off of a weekend (and change) of hanging out with The Legend in Sin City, and also a very big swing and miss on my "Game of The Year". My post this week will be a bit abbreviated (less schtick) due to time restraints and because of the pain caused by sitting in front of my computer for an extended period of time, since just as of yesterday did my proctologist remove Matt Schaub and Gary Kubiak's dicks from my ass.
The Legend has an Autographed Gus Frerotte
Helmet in His Man Cave. You Know You're Jealous.

A winning week, nonetheless, but an embarrassing statement of my prognosticating "skills". 

The overall tally is still just a couple games under .500 for the year (14-16), and I'm slightly above middle of the pack in the LVHSC Standings (428th of 1034). So I must press on, and hope that this week and the weeks that follow, don't resemble the shit show that was the Texans (-7.5) last weekend. 

St. Louis at Carolina (-6)
Christmas Morning is over, Ram fan. This won't be winless Jacksonville at home (two weeks ago) or last week's gift wrapped W courtesy of the hapless and lost Texans (Hou. committed 4 turnovers, gave up one defensive and one special teams score), because you're in Carolina now, and it will be Cam- not Ram, whose on the winning side. The Rams are 30th in the league against the run, and have failed to cover 4 straight versus NFC opponents. Cam, the man, will kill the Ram with both his arm and his legs. 27-17 Panthers.

Cincinnati at Detroit (-2.5)
The Bungholes escaped out of a Buffalo with a W last weekend, beating the practice squad QB led Bills in OT. This was two weeks after losing at Cleveland. In fact, the Bungholes are 0-3-1 ATS in their last 4 roadies. The Lions have won three of their last four, including two road wins and an impressive home beat down they administered to divisional foe Chicago. Stafford, Megatron, and Reggie Bush can be an explosive trifecta for Detroit Rock City (see last week's 24 point, come from behind second half). Cincinnati is a pretender, and the Lions are a contender. Sorry, Pack fan, but Detroit Rock City wins that division. 31-13 Lions.

San Diego at Jacksonville (+7.5)
The Jags have shown a pulse since the return of Justin Blackmon two weeks ago. Offensively, they've scored 19 and 20 points over his first two games back, in which JB had 136 and 190 yards receiving. I also like the fact that the Jags will be with Chad Henne (again) under center. He threw for 303 yards last week, as the 26 point dog Jags were very competitive in Denver. Expect San Diego to be sluggish following their Monday night hard fought win against Indy. They now get a short week, cross country flight, and a 10am PDT start. Good luck with that, Bolts fan. My Barking Dogs are 5-1 ATS and 5-1 SU this year, and I'm not backing down off this canine. Jags get their first W. Ruff-Ruff, 24-21 Jags.

San Fran (-4) at Tennessee
I'm not convinced Tennessee is better than average, as although they started out hot, they've now lost their last two. And I am still convinced San Francisco is one of the three or four best teams in the league. (They've now won three in a row in very convincing fashion). The 49ers are much the best on paper, and have to keep up with Seattle who already won this week Thursday night. The Titans are 0-4-1 ATS in their last 5 home games vs. teams with winning records, and the 49ers are an impressive 75% (21-7-1 ATS) in their last 29 played on natural grass. 33-20 San Fran.

Does Dr. James Andrews Perform Vasectomies Also?

Houston at Kansas City (-6.5)
Case Keenum is getting his first NFL start on the road in a very loud outdoor stadium, against the number two pass defense in the league, and the number one defense relative to points allowed. That's a pretty tall task. That would be like asking a condom-less Adrian Peterson to spend 15 minutes in a room full of hot chicks, and to not impregnate one or seven of them;... it ain't going to happen. 

I guess the Chiefs will continue to play "back burner" in the AFC West, and the AFC for that matter, until the Denver Peyton Mannings lose. But with a number one ranked defense and a Quarterback who has been nothing short of perfect (25-5-1 as a starter)- even prior to his injury, errrrrrrr- benching in San Francisco- I don't quite understand this point spread. In any case, if Vegas pulls another Schaub/Kubiak double team job on me this week with this weird line, I probably won't be going back for thirds. 24-6 Chiefs.

Last Week                                    3-2 ATS
Barking Dogs Year To Date      5-1 ATS
Overall Year To Date            14-16 ATS (47%)

Follow along as "Yack" pursues excellence in the Las Vegas Hilton Super Contest. @Sportsyack on Twitter. *Lines as of Thursday morning, LVH Sports Book*

Friday, October 11, 2013

NFL Week 6: Stuck in The Muck of an Under .500 Suck...But Hopeful

The 2013 Campaign has Been a
 Bloody Mess for Eli and the G-Men
NY Giants (+7.5) at Chicago (Thursday Night)
I'm going back to the well with the 0-5 New York football Giants. Why am I doing this to myself? Short week, lots of points, and I'll say it again, the G-Men cannot be this friggin' bad. That's why. Besides, take a close look at 'da Bears, and you'll see a team that is not as good as some thought early on.

Fact is, the Bears have just one quality win (Week 1 vs. Cincy) that was essentially gift wrapped for them. Other than that, their 2013 resume is nothing to write home about. In fact, they've more or less been boat raced their last two games, not really being in either game at Detroit and this past week in a home loss to New Orleans.

The Giants are giving up over 36 points/game. 'Da Bears are not much better at 28 per. Putting my faith in an 0-5 team to cover, is something I don't want to make a habit of, but I'm expecting a high scoring, semi-sloppy, typical Thursday night game that the G-Men stick around in. 'Da Bears are 0-4-1 ATS in their last 5 home games. 31-26 Bears.

Carolina (+2.5) at Minnesota
Carolina has had bit of a tough luck start. Week 1 loss to a very good Seattle team, in which the Panthers coughed the ball up late in the Seattle red zone, and a last second loss in Week 2 at Buffalo. They did right the ship in an absolute beat down of the hapless (I bet them this week and last week) Giants, but then got grounded again in this past weekend's loss to a descent Cardinals team, whose defense is 3rd against the run and yielding just 19 points per. Cam Newton and DeAngelo Williams won't find that much resistance this week.

The Vikings are 29th in the league against the pass, giving up over 326 yards/per through the air. And in their last two games, they've yielded a combined 700 yards plus through the air against the Browns' Brian Hoyer and Pittsburgh's Big Ben. Expect Newton to have a huge day both in the air and on the ground.

Rumor has it, Prince, a.ka., "Symbol", will be lining up under center this week for Minnesota. And like doves, Vikings fans will be crying by game's end. My Barking Dogs this year are 4-1 ATS and 4-1 SU. Ruff-Ruff. 27-17 Panthers.

"Hi, Mr. Schaub. Will you sign my
copy of 'Catcher in The Rye'?"
St. Louis at Houston (-7.5)
Goofy Schaub has had an interesting couple of weeks. Between throwing pick sixes and having to thwart off a couple of Mark David Chapmans at his house, the goofy looking bastard needs a big fat W to make all well again. And that is what he'll get on Sunday.

In what I'm deeming my October 5 Star Game of the Month, the Texans and Goofy will get out of their three week funk of pissing away games and being accosted by the mentally ill, by laying the wood to the greatest QB that never was.

The Texans- many experts' pick to win their division, have lost three games in a row while posting the number 1 defense in the entire NFL, and a not too shabby 7th offense led by the before mentioned Goofy. But to be fair, the last three weeks weren't exactly cupcake meet and greets with their 6 year old's 1st grade teacher. Now granted, they did have Seattle dead to rights and we all know how that ended, but that game was sandwiched between losses at Super Bowl Champions (and still good) Baltimore, and last week's national television shellacking at San Francisco (last year's runner ups).

The Rams are coming off a 34-20 beat down of hapless Jacksonville. Unfortunately, they'll be facing the league's top ranked defense this week, and similarly to how they played two weeks ago versus the league's 5th best defense (at San Fran, in a 35-11 loss, in which the Rams totaled just 188 yards), this will not be fun for Ram fan. The Rams are 1-4 ATS in their last 5 games overall. 33-14 Texans. This is my NFL Game of The Year.

Jacksonville (+26.5) at Denver
Manning's Off Season Trainer?
The only thing more absurd than one professional football team giving another professional football team 26.5 points, is the notion that any professional football team would only be a 17.5 point favorite versus the number 1 college football team in the country.

Dear Yahoo, Deadspin, or anyone else who would be willing to make that line 17.5 if the Crimson Tide were ever to take the field against the Jaguars. My name is Mike, do you take cash and credit- because I'd like to wager 7 zillion dollars on the Jags, please. Thanks.

Peyton Manning and the Broncos are like those old school porn stars who just keep banging away with no sign of going limp. I'm not sure if Manning did some off season conditioning with Peter North, but his first 5 weeks resemble a sorority house gang bang flick, in which the money shot doesn't come- uhh, uhh- until 32 minutes in, or in Manning's case, the first Sunday night in February, 2014.

To continue this high school sophomoric innuendo, think of Manning's first 5 weeks opponents as the Hannah Storms and Lindsay Czarniaks of the ESPN world, and this week's opponent in Jacksonville, as Shelly Smith. I don't expect Manning and the Broncos to keep it up following 5 weeks of domination, and especially after last week's blow for blow with the Cowboys.

I also like the fact that Jacksonville trots out Chad Henne this week,  they'll have Justin Blackmon back for the second consecutive week, and MJD- who suggested this week that the point spread was insulting to him. Unless the Broncos' trainers mix Viagra into Denver's Saturday night pre-game meal, the points here are a stone cold, rock hard, money shot lock. 38-19 Broncos.

Tennessee at Seattle (-13.5)
Home Sweet Home, once said by Vince Neil and the boys. Seattle is a little dicey outside the friendly confines of whatever they call the field they play their home games in (4 point escape at Carolina, OT win at Houston, loss last week at Indy), but when they are at home, they are pretty gosh darn good.

Seattle has played two home games in the 2013 campaign, and has won by 26 and 28 points respectively. (Including a beat down of divisional rival Frisco). In fact, dating back to last year- in which the Seahawks were a perfect 8-0 at home, the 'Hawks are winning at home by an average score of 31-11.

The Titans are 3-2, but they're just 2-9-1 ATS in their last 12 vs. a team with a winning record. And Seattle is pretty good following a SU loss, 5-0 against the number the week after an L. 31-13 Seahawks.

Last Week                                 3-2 ATS
Barking Dogs Year to Date    4-1 ATS
Overall Year to Date           11-14 ATS (44%)

Follow along as "Yack" pursues excellence in the Las Vegas Hilton Super Contest. @Sportsyack on Twitter. *Lines as of Thursday morning, LVH Sports Book*

Dear Braves,

Nice year. You won your division by 10 games, and you really showed those "World Series or Bust" Nats along the way. Congrats. Now go fuck yourselves.

Your 4 games and out routine- that you made common place in the 90's (a decade in which you probably should've won 2-3 World Series titles)- is par for the course for an organization of losers like yourselves.

I would normally not take a stand for an Atlanta Brave, Dallas Cowboy, or Baltimore Oriole, for that matter, but Atlanta's shenanigans last week- when their future Hall of Famer, 19 years with just one club 3rd baseman walked out to the mound to throw out the first pitch in game 1 of your NLDS with the Dodgers, was embarrassing.

Real classy, Brian McCann. Real classy, Chris Johnson. Maybe you two pricks should spend less time getting upset about opposing players going yard on you, and more time learning respect for a guy who spent almost two decades wearing your uniform, hit .303 over his career, and who has a ring on his finger that neither of you or the other 23 dipshits on your team has. 

And why? Because he correctly went on radio and predicted that you'd be 4 games and out?

So in between your tee times and beating your wives-oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. Bobby Cox doesn't manage you losers anymore- enjoy 2 minutes and 12 seconds of a guy who is going to make your lives miserable for the next decade.

Fuck You and The Horses You Fucking Assholes Rode In On,


Friday, October 4, 2013

NFL Week 5: Keeping My Head Afloat

Old Red Face Won't Get Bumped
 by Walt Disney or Chip Kelly
Philadelphia at NY Giants (-2.5)
Tom Coughlin has had a rough start to the 2013 campaign. His G-men have started out 0-4, and they're coming off back to back pollaxings in which they were out scored 69-7. That's pretty bad. Almost as bad as a professional sports organization getting their Championship Finals moved out of the arena they're supposed to be played in, so that Disney on Ice can take place.

Question: If a WNBA Championship Final took place the day after stepping aside so Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck could run around on skates, and nobody showed up to watch the rescheduled game, would it still make noise?

Tom Coughlin's got more pull than the WNBA and Disney on Ice, for that matter. And he's got more pull than that knucklehead Chip Kelly. Give me Tom Coughlin over Chip Kelly, Eli Manning over Mike Vick, and the fact that I'm a firm believer that the G-men can't possibly be this bad. Coughlin has had some rough starts before, and I think they right the ship this week. NYG are 7-1 ATS in Week 5 over last 8, and 4-1 ATS at home in their last 5 versus teams with losing records. "We Got Next, Mickey." 41-31 Giants.

Seattle at Indy (+3)
Did you see Matt Schaub take a big, fat, steamy dump all over himself last week? The Texans were 2 minutes and 40 seconds from finishing off the Monsters from the Northwest, in a game they absolutely dominated, until that goofy looking sum bitch threw a pass up for grabs like it was a hot potato.

Last week I correctly predicted that the Saints would lay the wood to the Miami Dolphins who had just escaped a game they should've lost against Atlanta the week before. Well this week, Seattle is my Miami and Indy is my New Orleans.


Nevermind. My point is, Seattle escaped with an improbably W last week, and they're in a bad spot here, on the back end of consecutive roadies. And quite frankly, they haven't looked very good on the road this year. Last week's before mentioned escape, as well as week 1's game at Carolina, where they were a DeAngelo Williams' red zone fumble away from a straight up loss.

The Colts are on a heater. They followed up the beat down they gave San Fran two weeks ago, with a beat down to the hapless Jags, in a spot in which they could've been flat. Nonetheless, the Colts are on a 64-10 (score) run over that span. Much attention will be paid to Andrew Luck's performance, but don't sleep on Indy's defense. 8th overall in the league, and just 459 total yards yielding in their last two contests. Ruff-Ruff. 30-16 Colts. 

That Fat Fuck on The Left Can Coach Defenses
New Orleans (Pick'em) at Chicago
Whose the problem, Jerra? You or that stringy haired, slob of a defensive coordinator you let go, who all of the sudden has the 6th ranked defense in the league down in New Orleans with (essentially) the same group of guys who were ranked 32nd just a year ago.

Whose the problem, Jerra? I think its you, Jerra, and that powerless Head Coach Jason Garrett, and your $60 pizzas. And the annual underachievement of a team whose fans and talking heads alike, have dreams of grandeur each first week of September.... (See Colin Cowherd or Peter King's annual evaluation of Dallas, in which case Jerra, Tony Romo, and the rest of the Cowboys are awesome, Rob Ryan is a dipshit, and Dallas will most likely be playing in this year's Super Bowl)

More on the Cowboys in a minute.

Rob Ryan is back. Sean Payton is back. And Who Dat? Who Dat? Who Dat talking about 'dem Saints, are back as well. 4-0, hitting on all cylinders, and on Sunday they'll keep their train a-rollin' and show the rest of the league that 'da Bears are frauds.

Yes, the Saints are back. And being overshadowed by the year Peyton Manning is having, is the first month of the season that Drew Brees has had. Over 1,400 yards passing, 10 TDs to 4 picks, and a 103.8 passer rating. Not so much for an over-hyped Jay Cutler. I'm not sure why the media has been on this guy's jock like he's had some kind of revitalization. He's completing 64% of his passes, he's thrown 8 TDs to 6 picks, and he's got an 85 passer rating. Big fucking deal.

Here is the Bears first month: come back from a 14 point second half deficit at home vs. Cincy, aided by a horrible unsportsmanlike conduct penalty by Cincy (shocker) late in the game (not impressed), a last second touchdown, come from behind win at home vs. lowly Minnesota (not impressed), a beat down of Pittsburgh on the road (join the crowd, everyone is doing it), and a beat down they took in Detroit, in a game that was not as nearly as close as the final score. Not impressed.

Even less impressive, is the fact that the Bears are just 1-6 ATS in their last 7 versus the NFC, and 0-3-1 ATS in their last 4 games at home. Boys on this side, men on the other. The future 2013 NFC Champions lay the wood on the road. 34-20 Saints.

Denver (-7.5) at Dallas
I said it last week, I'm hopping onboard the Peyton Manning ATS gravy train now, and riding that bad boy out until it comes up black. And I don't see any reason why it should stop now. Dallas' secondary is as bad as anyone's in the league, and I'm talking to you, Redskin fan. Not to mention when Dallas faces a Quarterback who can sling it (See Giants and Chargers games- Eli, 450 yards, 4 TDs/ Rivers, 401 yards, 3 TDs), and "Houston, errrrrrr, I mean Arlington, errrrrr, I mean Dallas, we have a problem."

No need to rattle off Manning and Denver's stats here. Everyone with the exception of that one guy living under a rock, are well aware. Denver is pretty damn good, as is their field general, and I expect lots of yards through the air, and lots of points on the scoreboard. Throw in the extra incentive of Dallas linebacker Ernie Simms saying he's "sick of hearing about Peyton's success", (see Chip Kelly's back and forth w/ Manning pre-game last week, and how well that worked out for him and his Eagles) and you have the recipe for another victorious Broncos boat race.

Denver and Peyton's propensity to not let off the gas; the Broncos are 8-0-1 ATS in their last 9 following a SU win of 14 points or more. Dallas just 3-10 ATS in their last 13 played in Jerra's $60 Pizza Palace. "Two large pepperoni and ground beef pizzas, with a side of  road ATS winner, please.." 45-31 Broncos. 

Last Week    3-2 ATS
Thursday Night   1-0 ATS
Barking Dogs Year to Date   3-1 ATS
Overall Year to Date     9-12 ATS (43%)

Follow along as "Yack" pursues excellence in the Las Vegas Hilton Super Contest. @Sportsyack on Twitter. *Lines as of Thursday morning, LVH Sports Book *

25 years ago this month, my "suspended from all school activities for the semester, for drinking on school property" ass was at the Legend's house on a Saturday night, while all my school mates were at Homecoming. And then the Washington Nationals' next manager did this.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Thursday Night NFL Football: Browns ask, "Trent who?"

Buffalo at Cleveland (-4)
We're number one !!!
Two weeks ago I vowed to never get down on another horseshit NFL Thursday night football game. This past Saturday morning- following a Friday night bender, I vowed never to drink again after waking up in my urine soaked jeans and with a bow legged, lethargic llama in my room. Monday night I was throwing back shots of tequila at a local watering hole with some of my neighbors, "pre-gaming" before we watched the Metallica concert movie.

The Thursday night NFL product, for the most part, is garbage. Two NFL teams, who just 4 days ago subjected themselves to the every play violence that is the National Football League, are back at it again. And it usually is an ugly, low scoring affair. This year's contests thus far (excluding opening night, whose teams had the benefit of more than 3 days rest) have produced 3 unders to 0 overs. 

Cleveland seems to not have missed a beat since trading away Trent Richardson. An impressive road win at Minnesota, and then last weekend's beat down of what's supposed to be a descent Bungals team. Third string QB Brian Hoyer (whose middle name is Axel) has the hot hand right now. Almost 600 yards passing and 5 TDs over his last two starts. And don't sleep on Cleveland's young, talented defense. 3rd overall in the league, and they will present major problems for an inconsistent, non 60 minute playing Bills team.

The Bills are 4-1 ATS in their last 5 games, but they're 1-4 ATS in their last 5 roadies.  Bills have played 4 straight games decided by one score or less, but that trend ends this week. As will the trend in which the Thursday night road team has covered three straight. 23-13 Browns.

The rest of Yack's Week 5 card will be released by Saturday.

Rich Turpin's Very Super Forecast: The 2017 Washington Redskins

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