Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The Legend Chronicles, Part 1: We're Officially in For The 2015 Contest

We're quickly approaching the 2015 NFL campaign, and yours truly and The Legend will be taking our 3rd stab at achieving NFL handicapping nirvana. I was informed today, via email, that The Legend went down to the Las Vegas Hilton, aka, The Westgate Sportsbook, and ponied up our $1,500 entry fee. This news was delivered to me in typical Legend fashion, with cuss words and insults of me, my father, and my uncle. His emails, along with our weekly 5 ATS picks, will be chronicled here for your reading pleasure. Viewer Discretion is Advised.


The Players:

Yack- me. 0-2 with The Legend in the contest. WSOP casher. Sometimes caller to The Junkies. Member of the infamous Corner Club.
The Legend- retired something or other, friend of my father, uncle, and me- I guess, and lifelong LA Dodgers fan.  He once knocked out the Pittsburgh Parrot at Three Rivers Stadium, and somehow was not arrested.
The Fat Man, aka, Fat Fuck- nickname given to my father by The Legend. For what it's worth, my father is 5'11", 193 lbs. Not exactly a "fat fuck", especially for a guy in his 60s whose in pretty good health.
Uncle Dummy, aka, Cement Head- my uncle, my father's younger brother. He's not dumb and his head is not made of cement. In fact, a very successful electrician/foreman. The Legend looks down on "blue collars".
Judge Patrick- my younger, funnier brother, and sometime contributor to the blog and Twitter one liners. He said of Twitter three years ago, "I fucking hate it. It's the official death of Western Civilization." He hasn't had a Twitter account in 3 years.


Legend's Email dated July 14th, 2015:

Yack-

   We are now officially registered for the westgate football super contest.  Our alias is ‘’THE YACK’’……..just a couple of points I wish to bring to ur attention… first it is like a baseball game three strikes and ur fuckin OUT…. Even being the nephew of uncle ‘’dummy’’ u can figure out what I am talking about… second I don’t want u to tap out in week 6/7 like u elected to do so last year, u acted like a beaten down bitch slapped pussy….. and most importantly this year I firmly expect u wear ur ‘’BIG’’ boy pants and do well in the contest.  If u don’t have any ‘’BIG’’ boy pants u cud always borrow a pair from the ‘’FAT’’ man.  Best of luck to us……

       TL











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