Sunday, September 20, 2015

NFL Week 2: No Stinky Feet Here, Just More ATS Winners

The Legend and I sprinted out of the gate in the first week of the Westgate Super Contest, to a winning 3-2 post against the number. And although we missed one of our two weekly 15 team teasers by one game (the f**king Colts), that would've paid us $3,500 (as we would've also middled our 15th game- Philly at Atlanta), we'll still take a winning week in "the contest" over any exotics we might play on the side. (By the way, can anyone refer us to an AA for sports wagering?.... Thanks.)

We did start off our second week on a losing note, as it seems Andy Reid is not as successful in managing 36 seconds to simply get to Overtime, as he is in managing a Sunday morning Bob Evans All You Can Eat Breakfast Buffet. Some of his play calling left little to be desired, including the before mentioned final minute of play. For those keeping score at home, our KC (-3) loss will be calculated in next week's totals.

New England (-1) at Buffalo
Millions of Feet, Feet For Me. Million of Feet, Feet for Free.
Here is why I like the Pats in this tilt. The Patriots have Tom Brady at Quarterback, and the Bills have Tyrod Taylor. I don't even know what the f**k a "Tyrod" is.

Is it a hybrid of Tyrone and Rodney? "Yo baby, I want to name him Tyrone!....F**k dat, he looks like a Rodney to me!" But I digress.

The Patriots are coached by Bill Belichek and his do anything to win-errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, cheat mentality, and the Bills are coached by a guy who in between lap band surgeries, works one out on his wife's feet while he's watching game film.

I'm not buying Buffalo... yet. And I'm not buying that a Quarterback in his second career start, is going to whore both Andrew Luck and Tom Brady in consecutive weeks. (this logic is sort of used again in my Tenn/Clev breakdown below)

The Patriots are 9-2 ATS in their last 11 versus Buffalo, including last year- in Buffalo, when New England put a 37-22 beat down on the Bills, as Brady threw for 361 yards and 4 TDs. I'll take Brady, Belichek's scheming, all those Super Bowl rings, and the 10 days off. 30-20 Patriots.

Tennessee at Cleveland (+1)
This is simply a value play, folks. Generally speaking, I see a lot of value in betting against teams on the back end of back-to-back roadies. I love my bet even better when that team I'm about to bet against won that first roadie. And to compound that even more, I REALLY LOVE my bet when that team I'm about to bet against, is Captained by a rookie. So in closing, if I get beat by a rookie Quarterback who will have started off his NFL career 2-0, winning both of those games on the road, get a yellow jacket tailored (already) for Mr. Mariota, and get me a straight one of those.

To be somewhat serious, I think Tampa Bay is a horseshit team, who is lacking everywhere, and last week's Titans' opponent was a cupcake. I think the Browns have a descent Offensive Line and pretty good defensive backs. Give me the newly sober (allegedly) Johnny Football a full week of practice with the ones, in a system he's already familiar with, and this game might just be so easy-please me, Axl Rose. In fact, I'm calling it: blowout. 33-13 Brownies. 

Atlanta at NY Giants (-2.5)
"Uh, Oh...."
Matt Ryan is an enigma. He's thrown for four straight 4,000 yard seasons, and seems to be regarded as one of the better Quarterbacks in the National Football League, but the dude also- at times, seems like a complete dipshit. I've never seen a guy, like he did this past Monday Night, throw just as many great passes, as he did "what the f**k was he thinking?!?!" passes. He's like the guy who on a first date, greets the girl at her front door with a dozen roses, takes her out to a nice restaurant for dinner, but who then cuts a wet fart in between having eaten desert and paying for the check.

Speaking of wet farts, the G-Men had a rough one in Big D last week. I haven't seen that much curious play calling from an opponents' 1 yard line with the game on the line, since, umm..."oh, hey, it's Pete Carroll, ladies and gentlemen!"

Bottom-line, the Giants should've won that game. And tho I heard all off and pre-season that their defense was going to be their achilles heel, the G-Men's defense had other things in mind and they were not the reason they lost. They forced 3 Cowboys fumbles, and picked off Tony Romo two times. And following a week of brow beatings by the NY media, expect Red Face Coughlin and the boys to come out firing on all cylinders.

Do you like trends? Well, I do, and I'm the simpleton mother f**ker writing this drivel. The G-Men are 5-0 ATS in their last 5 following a week in which they allowed 350+ yards. The favorite when these two hook up, is 4-1 ATS in the last 5. Just when you think Matty Ice is going to go home and score, he will get an uncomfortable look on his face, and excuse himself to the bathroom to throw another pick six. 23-17 Giants.

Baltimore (-5.5) at Oakland
As my buddy Jabby Burns says about this one, "the Ravens will pick themselves up from their week 1 loss in Denver, and then realize that they're the Ravens, and their next opponent is the Raiders." And it might be just that simple, people.

The incompetents that run the NFL- specifically in the scheduling department, did the Baltimore Black Crowes no favors in their first month and change of games, specific to travel. Check this shit out:

Baltimore started at Denver. They then were essentially forced to stay and practice on the West Coast because of this week's game in probably the biggest dump of a city I've ever been to, Oakland. They then get to come home finally, and play divisional rival Cincy. For the NFL scheduling department's next trick, the Crowes then get the short week and go to divisional foe Pittsburgh. They then get some relief in the 10 days off and with Cleveland coming to town, but then go to San Francisco and then to Arizona, which again, forces the Ravens to stay on the West Coast for another full week prior to a game.

"Gee, thanks Roger. We'll remember to never, ever again, employ a guy who beats his girlfriend in front of casino elevator security cameras, which will then make you look like a horses ass for how you handled it."- Ravens Owner, Steve Bisciotti, probably.

What's my point? With their "Up In The Air" first 6 weeks, this Week 2 game in Oakland, in which Baltimore is much the best, is a game they need to just put away. Joe Flacco's miserable week 1 performance will be a distant memory, by 4:30 pm...West Coast time. 28-10 Ravens.

Last Week  3-2 ATS
YTD           3-2 ATS

**lines are from the Westgate Sporstbook, 9/17/2015** follow this blog on Twitter @sportsyack

1 comment:

  1. Several years ago I also played football. But now occasionally I watch matches and bet online on this site . I dream to get rich and buy a small football club.


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