Friday, December 11, 2015

NFL Week 14: Kissing Your Sister Thru 3/4 of The Season

Pittsburgh at Cincy (-2.5)
Only One More Week Until These Two Reunite
The Bengals took care of business against their divisional foe in Pittsburgh back in Week 8. Now they get them at home laying less than a field goal. This is the over-reaction line of the week, as fresh in the mind of the bettor is Antonio Brown trying to castrate himself, enroute to the ass kicking he and the Steelers delivered the Colts on national TV. Don't lose your nuts here, people. The Pittsburgh pass defense sucks, the Bengals have scored 30 or more in three straight games, and the Red Rifle will be shooting ducks in a pond in this one. The Bung-holes have covered 7 straight at home against teams with winning records. Load up on Iron City stock, because Big H.A.T. Nation will be drowning their sorrows away Sunday night.  27-17 Bengals.

Buffalo at Philly (+1)
I don't care how many hands aren't going to be shook this weekend in the city of Brotherly Love, because this game is easy. Desean Jackson and the Washington Red Storms didn't take care of business on Monday night, and now four teams plus the Little Sisters of The Poor have a chance to win the NFC East. Expect Chip Kelly and his racist game planning to take advantage of this opportunity. Buffalo is 1-4-1 ATS in their last six following an ATS win. Howard Eskin will nominate Chip Kelly as the new Mayor of Philly, by about 4:15 pm Eastern Sunday afternoon. 31-22 Eagles.

Atlanta (+7.5) at Carolina
I'm not sure what I'm doing here taking Matt Ryan. He's got the body language of a life loser, and his team's record has been reflective of that. After winning their first 5 games of the season, that nerd Matty Ice and the Dirty Birds have lost 6 of their last 7. And now they get undefeated Carolina on the road. I'm betting that those knuckleheads pride it up, sort of like 10 point dog Minnesota did on Thursday night. Atlanta is 0-8 ATS in their last 8 overall, due....Atlanta is 0-4 ATS in their last 4 divisional games, due....This is the "Flat Ronnie" 5 Star barking dog of the weekend game, due....27-24 Panthers.

Tennessee at NY Jets (-7)
I like what I've seen out of the rookie in Tennessee. And on Monday of this week, the Titans getting slightly more than a touchdown was looking pretty good to me. But then on Tuesday night I had bad sleep apnea, and a dream that the Jets absolutely pollaxed the Titans. So I'm taking the Jets here, essentially because of a dream I had. I never said this was rocket science, folks. My rationale is that its the league's 5th ranked defense, versus a rookie QB in the Meadowlands. The Titans are 1-5 ATS in their last 6 on the road vs a team with a winning record. Boring, ugly game, but just enough to anchor your ship in Cover Harbor, Jet fan.  26-6 Jets.

Dallas (+7) at Green Bay
Jerr-ah made it perfectly clear this week that he's not been impressed with Jason Garrett's coaching in Tony Romo's absence. And although I think Dallas does the unthinkable this Sunday, relative to gambling trends (goes on the road for the second week in a row, on a short week and covers), I do think the Jason Garrett era in Big D is coming to an end. But first things first. Dallas' defense is respectable, and the Green Bay Packers are three pieces of cheddar cheese short of a dumpster fire. Let's just pretend that the Detroit Lions aren't the Detroit Lions for once in their miserable existence, and the Packers don't complete that Hail Mary last Thursday night. In that case, the Packers would be in a 5 of last 6 tail spin. Dallas hasn't been as awful as their record indicates during Romo's boo-boos, and they'll cover here against a team who shouldn't be laying 7 points to anybody. 24-20 Packers.

Last Week                           2-3 ATS
YTD                            31-31-3 ATS

*lines are from the Westgate Sportsbook, 12-10-2015. Follow this blog on Twitter @sportsyack*

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